Stuff & Things

Middlesbrough!

2011-11-27T18:11:00.001Z

Wow it's been a loooooong time since I wrote. The last couple of months have been a bit weird for cause I quite my job in August but then had to wait until last week to actually leave. I haven't really felt like writing anything, I've been in a bit of a weird limbo situation, although my lovely workmates & my favourite Roller Derby team have kept me sane, not to mention the boyfriend & the doggy!

Aaanyway, for those if you I've not managed to catch up with, I'm in Middlesbrough for 6 weeks doing panto yay! It's Snow White & it has Claire King in it who is totally famous. Rehearsals start tomorrow & I have to admit I'm a leetle bit nervous, it's been a long time since I DSMed something proper, let alone something with actual grown up actors in rather than students... I've begun successfully by making the prompt copy up backwards so that bodes well!

Well that's it for now, watch this space for news on how famous Claire King actually is & whether there'll be dwarves or children.

Metaaaaaaaal!!!!

2011-09-15T09:18:00.002+01:00

I don't write many band reviews on here but I just wanted to take a minute to recommed a couple of awesome AWESOME bands that have come to my attention recently...

First up - Cormorant. I first heard them because the MetalSucks blog told me to. They basically said that if you haven't heard this band yet then WHY THE FUCK NOT!!! They are amazing. They're quite mastodon inspired but a whole lot more up tempo with a few real wall of sound moments & some of those Amon Amarth style riffs that properly soar around. Really. Fucking. Awesome.

As well as all that I got a promo email from them today for their new album which is out 6th Dec (can't wait) & I didn't realise but they are completely independent & do all their own marketing & shit which just made me love them even more. Just goes to show that if the music's good enough it can be done!

You can get their album by donation or just stream it from Bandcamp.

http://cormorant.bandcamp.com/

Second is Revocation. Wikipedia says they're 'extreme metal' I would say they're more modern thrashy but really technical. They're one of those bands that when I put them on in the background people always ask who it is because despite being really traditional in some ways they always manage to be interesting & have some really crazy riffs going on. I love em, so will you. They're also on Bandcamp (I freaking love that site!)

http://revocation.bandcamp.com

Last of all & completely different I was recently presented with a list of post rock bands to peruse & these guys were first on the list - I've not even got to #2 yet! They're called And So I Watch You From Afar & they freaking rock. Check em out. That's all I'm saying.

http://asiwyfa.bandcamp.com/album/and-so-i-watch-you-from-afar

And if you've never seen Bandcamp before you neeeeeeed to be on there so badly. You can stream & buy all in one place & if you're like me & you feel guilty about torrenting albums but do it anyway then at least you can pay by donation here & not get completely ripped off either. Good times.

Is The WFTDA Sexist?

2011-07-19T14:22:00.000+01:00

Sensationalist headline alert! No, I'm not accusing the people who run WFTDA of being sexist, but recently I've been thinking a lot about whether it's time for Roller Derby to throw open it's doors & actively try to engage male players. My personal answer to this question is undoubtedly yes, but I want to explore some of the issues around it.

Now I fully realise that the Women's Flat Track Derby Association is exactly that - a women's association, and as such should be looking out for the rights & promotion of women in the sport. I personally think it's great that modern Roller Derby was started as an all female sport. There's no way that we would have this amazing opportunity without that history, Roller Derby is known as a women's sport with some male involvement rather the other way around, & I really appreciate the head start we've been given. On the other hand though, it makes me sick a bit when I hear people refer to Roller Derby (*not* the WFTDA) as "all female". The men who play with MRD are an equal & crucial part of our team & I hate hate HATE to have them excluded or belittled as a matter of course.

Being a rather staunch feminist myself, I know how it feels to be constantly assumed to be the sideshow, helper, 2nd in command. To illustrate this: the other day me & Ad were in the phone shop looking for a new contract for him. The salesman came up to him & asked him what he was looking for & Adam explained. Then the man said "And is it for you or the lady". Excuse me?!?!! I was so angry I nearly walked out! This is exactly the kind of thing I have to deal with all the time. And it may sound small & petty, but to have people assume over & over again that someone else makes your decisions & lifts your heavy things & thinks & acts for you it just maddening.

And that is the reason why not only am I glad that we women have Roller Derby, but also, now that we have it, we should be generous with it and NOT let Merby become the sideshow.

Just as people need their consciousness raised with how they deal with women, I think much of the sexism inherent in Derby is accidental & unconscious. So I am here to tell you that the following behaviour is unacceptable. And I will be pointing it out at every opportunity.

51% female vote
This is a requirement of the WFTDA. Fine for women's teams - NOT fine for co-ed leagues. Have separate committees & a joint one if you need to.

Assuming men are refs
Not cool. A lot of men in Derby ref because there is no other place for them. Some of the MRD blokes left teams that didn't give them the option to play. Just because someone is pushed in to a role doesn't mean they want to be there. Most of the MRD men are players & have never reffed in their lives.

Saying men shouldn't be allowed to play
This is the most blatant sexism around & it's shocking how often you hear people express this opinion. On episode 1 of the 4th whistle podcast someone mentioned it & I was so incensed I had to email them & put them straight. Excluding someone because of their gender? Come on ladies, we've been through this before.

Transgendered players
I think it's about time people got off their high horse about this. At the level most Derby teams are at they have a wide range of players of all abilities - this is not the Olympics (however much we might wish it was!) The differences in size/muscle mass are not consistent enough to exclude ANYONE because of gender. The beauty of Roller Derby is that it is so inclusive - for people dealing with gender issues there aren't many sports that they can participate in. Please, please, lets not be like football.

Using the female pronoun
When we all use the same rules - is it really necessary to use 'she' & 'her' all the time? The MRDA have got it right - gender neutral rules is the way to go. This also goes some way toward being more inclusive for transgendered people.

Saying that Merby is not tactical
Ok, it's a more violent game - I think we can agree on that. But portraying men's Derby as a mindless bloodbath is stooping to an outdated, unhelpful & frankly insulting stereotype of masculinity. There's more to our boys than muscle - they do have brains you know!

The Master & Margharita - Review

2011-07-13T11:34:00.001+01:00

This book is about the devil arriving in Russia & causing havock all mixed up with a kind of love story between a writer & a married woman. It's a bit of a slow burner, something I often don't have much patience with, but it picks up eventually & is very readable & not too taxing.

I find it really interesting reading translated books, especially of Russian authors, there's something in the kind of every day assumptions that makes them seem surreal to start with & then ladled on top of that is the weirdness of the actual plot. At the start of the book the devil & his cronies go round a few rather pompous & self satisfied writers & give them their comeuppance - most of them ending up in an asylum. But instead of using any really devilish tricks, most of his plots seem to revolve around giving people money which turns in to other things at opportune moments.

The characterisation is free & easy without too much muggy detail & most of the characters are pretty likeable despite being full of themselves. There is a kind of Puckish humor to the devil which makes you love him & feel sorry for his victims at the same time. Also I love the cat!

It was a good read but I got to the end with a feeling that I didn't really understand what the point of it all was, no one really seems to achieve anything except for the obligatory love story. But the story doesn't end there, so in that way it's a bit like the Lamuellan novels from Mostly Harmless by Douglas Adams - the main character dies before the end but the story continues on without him & then fizzles out a few chapters later.

I might go back & read it one day but I think I'd be put off by the possibility of reading at again & realising that it's not me - it's just weird!

Derby Update

2011-06-23T17:52:00.003+01:00

Well our home bout has come & gone. Playing a bout really starts about a week before, a massive long build up of anticipation, ridiculous amounts of nervous adrenaline on the day & then 2 hours & it's over. Party, home, downward slide. It's explosive & it shreds your nerves whilst being amazing all at the same time. In that way it's very much like getting a tattoo!

So we lost by 19 point which is *close* in derby terms. CCR are a truly awesome team, & it's great to feel like we're using our tactics to fight instead of just trying to stay on our feet like we were in the beginning. It's amazing how MRD have grown & developed under my nose without me even realising. Our heroes are no longer newbies & there'll be a whole new set in July who will be looking up to them & wondering how many years they've been skating. I can't even begin to describe how proud & how completely & utterly impressed I am with them all.

There comes a time in every rollergirl's career where she hits a wall & can't seem to improve. It's frustrating & disheartening & sometimes you feel like you just can't work any harder so you must be doing something wrong. I've had that discussion with a few MRDers over the past few months, but now I hope we can look back on A Midsummer Night's Scream & think to ourselves that we are well & truly out of that rut. We played like a team, & that is the highest praise I can think of.

Oh and also..... best freaking jammer!!!

Ultimate Geek Activities Part II

2011-04-22T00:46:00.000+01:00

Over the past 4(ish) years the single most common search term that finds this blog is 'Ultimate Geek Activities'. If you search that in Google then it comes up with a page where I talk about cataloging my CD's (yes it was 2008!) I feel like I'm possibly letting down those people who actually want some Ultimate Geek Activities, so in honor of them I'm listing the most geeky activities I can think of. Please bear in mind I am not a furry & I do not frequent 4chan.

1. Dwarf Fortress. For genuine geek points play without the GUI. Also, you definitely need pictures of your fortress for posterity.

2. Learn some HTML. You could argue that learning Java or something is more geeky but then I would tell you that then you would be more employable & geek is niche so nur.

3. Watch UCTV lectures online. You can literally never know enough about string theory.

4. Catalog your books extensively. You definitely need to know what date you started reading Day of the Triffids

5. Feed your brain with some documentaries & learn about your brain at the same time.

Enjoy.

Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie

2011-04-15T20:12:00.001+01:00

This is the first book I've read by Rushdie & I have to say it's not at all what I expected. I'm not sure how I ended up with this expectation, but I really thought this was going to be a dry literary book that took me hours to get through but would be rewarding in the end (think all those Russian authors!) Isn't it funny how you can get an impression of an author without knowing any solid facts about their writing style or subject matter?

Anyway, Rushdie's writing is actually very funny & endearing. He paints an idiosyncratic picture, the story moving forward by a series of small events, never long passages of descriptive text, building up a vivid image of the setting by inference & suggestion. It's effortless reading in which you suddenly realise you've learnt so much without having to take anything in.

He builds up a picture of India amazingly, diving straight in but never excluding the western reader. He explains just enough of culture & language for you to be a part of his story without feeling like a tourist. Unlike some novels I've read set in foreign parts, you don't strain your inner eye trying to imagine the setting, you are simply there.

I am generally a fan of page turners, I like to be thrown from scene to scene & desperate to read just...one...more...page.... but this is one where you're along for the ride. I find myself reading it really slowly, but in a good way, enjoying every sentence. I was surprised when I realised how little I'd read in a week! It's very thick prose that gives you the impression of having eaten more than you actually had on your plate.

I'm a habitual book-highlighter so I thought I'd give extracts by just copying out what I've marked in. They're not extracts as such, some of them probably don't really make any sense but are just lovely turns of phrase, maybe they'll help you decide if you want to read it.

"They have turned their backs on us" Said the Convocation's posters "and now they claim we're standing behind them"

"How did Nadir Khan run across the night town without being noticed? I put it down to his being a bad poet, and as such, a born survivor"

"An insomniac cow, idly chewing a Red and White cigarette packet, strolled by a bundled street-sleeper, which meant he would wake in the morning, because a cow will ignore a sleeping man unless he's about to die. Then it nuzzles at him thoughtfully. Sacred cows eat anything."

"If everything is planned in advance, then we all have a meaning, and are spared the terror of knowing ourselves to be random, without a why; or else, of course, we might - as pessimists - give up right here and now, understanding the futility of thought decision action, since nothing we think makes any difference anyway; things will be as they will. Where, then, is optimism? In fate or in chaos?"

"The moment I was old enough to play board games, I fell in love with Snakes and Ladders. O perfect balance of rewards and penalties! O seemingly random choices made by tumbling dice! All games have morals; and the game of Snakes and Ladders captures, as no other activity can hope to do, the eternal truth that for every ladder you climb, a snake is waiting just around the corner; and for every snake, a ladder will compensate. But it's more than that; no mere carrot-and-stick affair; because implicit in the game is the unchanging twoness of things, the duality of up against down, good against evil; the solid rationality of ladders balances the occult sinuosities of the serpent; in the opposition of staircase and cobra we can see, metaphorically, all conceivable oppositions."

Aeon Zen

2011-03-14T10:43:00.000Z

Last weekend me & Ad went to watch the amazing Devin. Obviously he was life changing & has a rubber face matched by no one (we even got a bit of Ziltoid woop) but at risk of upsetting everyone who was there, I want to waffle on a bit about the support act - Aeon Zen.

Aeon Zen are the shit. They play very cheesy 80's style prog with a massive dose of irony, they're totally epic! It's been a loooooong time since I've seen a support band who actually warmed the crowd up, but they had people singing along & shouting 'woah!' & 'cool!'. The best way I can describe them is like Symphony X but better. The front man is hilarious & had the band cracking up - but not through jokes or larking about, simply through the inherent comedy that 80's prog is made of. They had pulled out particularly profound lyrics & floated them on screens in time with the music, they pulled faces & got VERY involved with their solos.

On top of that though, they are also genuinely progressive. Their musicianship allows them to really experiment with a genre that many fail at through being too formulaic. The song structure was often unexpected & the solos were technically very good, & all while still staying true to what great 80's prog should sound like.

Check em out!

Tron Update!

2011-02-25T14:28:00.000Z

Today I'm feeling indulgent so I'm just going to go for the cuteness factor & post up some pics of our walk this morning. They're currently DESTROYING the nature reserve to put stupid paths in & in the process creating huge rivers of mud making it literally impossible to access some place. Tron however, is not put of by vast amounts of very muddy mud.

Mud!

Oooh a stick!

1 second later...

no longer interested in stick.

Actually, I'm bringing it with us kay?

I tried to trick him in to getting some of the mud off.. sadly this puddle isn't right next to my front door.

Tron running away...

Tron contemplates jumping in to a massive mud puddle.

I tried to get a picture of just how muddy he was but he wouldn't stand still.

Massive stick!

Thanks for watching :)

Where Do We Get Our Morals From?

2011-02-05T10:05:00.000Z

I am a huge fan of the biological model for humans. I actually spend my spare time imagining ways in which the smallest nuances of the human condition could have evolved gradually over time, it's a fascinating exercise & one that gives me a lovely warm fuzzy feeling of us all being in it together. There are some areas, however, where this imagining is more than an interesting diversion; the answer to the question of where we get our morals from is one that has the power to start & end wars.

I'm not talking here about cultural morals (e.g. no sex before marriage) although these are clearly related & important to the discussion. In my mind I categorise those as 'second level' morals - ones that are derived from the very fundamental laws of humanity. What I'm interested in is 10 commandment style laws that form the basis of everything we believe in & stand for, without which society could simply not hold together.

You can probably tell from the first paragraph which side of the fence I tend to come down on. I personally do not believe that religion or concious thought has given us anything more than superficial rules about how to live (in fact I believe there's a strong case to argue that religion is itself an evolved behaviour - but more on that another day!) Let me give a concrete example: murder.

Now most people in modern Britain believe that killing other people is wrong, but let's look at killing more closely. There are many instances in which we will accept the killing of another person; mental illness, intention, justification are just a few examples. I can't think of any example of a fundamental principle of right & wrong. In fact, I can't think of any one thing on which we all agree.

An interesting moral dilemma is the famous hypothetical question of the children on the railway line. At a fork in the track, five children are standing on the track with a train headed straight for them. On the other fork is one child. You have the power to divert the train to sacrifice the one for the many - so do you? According to research by Marc Hauser, most people will not actively kill one person for the sake of many others, in theory at least, but when I put this question to my step dad he immediately said that of course you should sacrifice one for five. He did, however, draw the line at the second scenario where you take the organs from a healthy but unwilling donor to save multiple people who need transplants.

Now whilst I have my own suspicions about where these moral decisions come from, I know for a fact that we do not agree on them. Whilst there may be general trends, they are just that, trends. The moral zeitgeist is changing daily & if we're not going to be swept away in a tide of subconscious gut reaction we need to ask ourselves what are our reasons for our personal beliefs about right & wrong, how can we justify our position? There are a few possible answers to this.

1. We need morals to hold society together. If we are going to live as a group we need certain rules to live by, even if some people do not agree with some of them.

2. In order to have our own personal freedom & in order to be happy in our lives we logically need to offer people the same chance.

3. It makes us feel good to be good

I'm sure there are more but those are the first 3 I could think of, but none of them really explain how I feel about moral behaviour apart from #2. Maybe I am a product of society, but 1 & 3 seem open to abuse to me. You only have to step back a couple of hundred years to see how they often meant something very different to people then. Personal freedom & happiness, however, is something perhaps we can all aspire to. Yesterday me & Al were discussing this exact problem & we came up with the motto; In everything you do, attempt to do the most good & the least harm as possible.

If there are no moral absolutes then there is no definitive answer. But I do believe it is our universal (moral?!) duty to think about & discuss these ideas, & not just glide through life not thinking & not caring about how our beliefs can affect the word around us.

When To Drop Back & When To Goat

2011-02-03T14:55:00.000Z

This is in response to something that came up last night at practice & I thought I'd try & explain through the use of paint... when you've got a power jam, why is it not always a good idea to slow the pack by dropping back...

Scenario 1

Ok first I'll show the ideal situation, where if you can (slyly) create a no pack situation you can help your jammer through. If you do it swiftly enough then you should be able to reform the pack when instructed & still manage to get the jammer past some blockers.

1. Ok so your jammer is coming up behind you, the other team are out in front racing off as fast as they can. You haven't managed to catch a goat & your opponents are ready to take her out on the corner with ease.

2. You start to slow down nice & gently so your team can't be penalised, your jammer catches you up.

3. By this time the refs have probably shouted no pack so you have to start reforming, but until you do, the other team still can't touch your jammer.

4. The pack is reformed & with a bit of luck you've given your team some easy points!

Scenario 2

Now lets have a look at what happens if you time your dropping back wrong;

1. This time your jammer is miles away & has a lot of track left before she catches the pack

2. You start to drop back but your jammer is still pegging it round...

3. The refs have called no pack but your jammer has only just caught you. If you don't reform you'll start getting sent off, so now you're speeding up just as your jammer needs a nice easy ride.

4. The pack reforms at the worst possible moment! The opposing blockers are perfectly placed & legal to deliver a nice big hit on the jammer. Your team hasn't gained anything & the interim time could have been much better used by catching a goat or getting in a good position to make a gap for the jammer.

There is a third time that you should drop back which is when you've caught a goat. Instead of creating a no pack situation, dropping back when you have a goat can make the other blockers go out of play - you won't get called to reform the pack & you can keep that going for the whole jam if you're good enough! You'll be slowing the entire pack instead of just momentarily creating a hole & risking a potential penalty. Obviously that makes goating the more preferable of the 2 options, but if you just can't get one then dropping back at the optimum moment works great.

Hope that all makes sense!

Merby!

2011-02-02T10:37:00.000Z

Last Saturday was the merby. I don't write up every bout we go to because I'm not a sports writer & I think that some of my non-derby readers might get lost along the way somewhere. In honour of those people merby = man derby. It is freaking awesome.

Merby is less about tactics and more about hitting hitting hitting. And skating very fast. And also the guys who do it are our lovely refs for the most part so it's nice to see them have to swallow their own insubordination for a change (if you thought that sounded rude it's you not me!) I won't hold you in suspense - the score was something like 250:67 to the team which had all the MRD guys in. It was an absolute massacre & I now have a very sore throat from screaming so much. The guys did freaking amazingly, all of them, I couldn't even pick anyone out. They ruled. Among our greatest triumphs were:

1. Andy dislocated his jaw. Rule. He also stopped a jammer dead in their track by simply standing in front of them.
2. Aiden didn't get ejected till the final jam which is a firs & blowing kisses to the crowd halfway through a jam.
3. Dean jamming like freaking road runner & also taking some big hits without even flinching.
4. Skabby reffing her first bout - I can't believe you picked merby for the first one are you INSANE!

Obviously that's not all of them - the MRD boys did us proud. Also, I won the raffle, which is possibly my greatest triumph - I got an MMR t shirt yaaaaay!

Getting to watch Sheffield play was also really cool - they dominated their bout as well although I can't remember the score offhand. They make it look so easy! I picked up so much from them & now I have to drag myself back to the Arcadia & try as hard as I can to be a fraction of that awesome. But one day we will win & that day will be sooooo sweet! I think I learnt something anyway ;)

And I made Andy a banner. Because he's Andy basically!

Back To Work...

2011-01-18T17:28:00.000Z

Well I've been maintaining radio silence for a while now what with xmas & whatnot. I came back & had a peek at my draft posts & they're all rather involved religious offerings so I thought I'd just do a quick new year update on January so far. Then I looked at my calendar & realised that apart from me & Ad reaching a momentous 2 years the only blogworthy thing I've done this month is play in Mods & Blockers. So here it is.

This was our 2nd proper bout as a team & I think it's safe to say some people were rather nervous, not helped by the 2 1/2 hour coach journey for us to analyse the game ahead. We got there with minutes to spare for our four intrepid cherry poppers to get ready & get on the track. They were bloody fantastic as well. It was the first time I've watched any of our team play & it was TENSE. There were 2 on each team as well so I didn't even know who to bloody cheer for, especially when Electron Charge & Nyte Owl were up jamming against each other. I think I speak for everyone when I say we're all bloody proud of them!

So then we were up. I'm not going to go in to masses of detail for those of you who aren't Derby related, but we were really behind at the end of Act I & I for one was feeling pretty rubbish about it. The only think I could think of to do was to set myself 1 goal for Act II which would at least prove to myself that I tried & didn't keep going out there making the same silly mistakes. SO I resolved to spend less time running away at the front & more time helping the Jammer. I think I achieved my goal ok, & as a team we really pulled it back it was super sweet. Even though we lost 89 - 117!

As a wake up call I watech the bout on YouTube yesterday & came up with A LOT of things to work on. Seems like hogging the front isn't my only failiing believe it or not!

Also, this happened.

My Route To Atheism Part II

2010-12-01T15:07:00.002Z

When I was about 15 My Mum & I joined the Quakers, I think she needed the support of a structure, but the great thing about Quakers is they don't dictate what your beliefs must be. Mostly they are in fact Christian, but they focus on a moral code centred around being the best person you can be & making the world a better place. They reject the introspective nature of most religions & encourage members to live their faith by going out in to the world. There exists what is known as the 'Quaker Mafia' because they really do pop up everywhere once you know to look for them. Since joining I haven't worked anywhere where there wasn't another Quaker!

I did a lot of growing up in the Quakers - they are very nurturing people, but I also grew more idealistic & continued my delusions about the world, again, being encouraged by kind & responsible adults to believe in the supernatural.

The Massive turning point for me on the route to Atheism came when a copy of 'A Brief History Of Time' found its way in to my hands. I was already very interested in nature but had always been really, really shit (like D at GSCE!) at physics. I can't even begin to describe the effect this book had on me, the wonder of actually understanding how the universe works down to the tiniest detail. To know how time can be bent by gravity, how atoms stick together, to me it was simply the most incredible thing I had ever seen. Unfortunately, as with so many religious minds, it slotted nicely in to my mindset. I actually saw all this as a way to prove my theories about the universe & energy. Quantum theory in the wrong hands simply becomes pseudo science, as bad as homeopathy, reiki, psychicness or any other crazy theory around today, but I was on a search for truth, fired up by having definite facts about the world for the first time in my life, as opposed to theories with no explanation behind them (how do we know where the chakras are?!)

As I read more & learnt about scientific method & the importance of evidence based proof, I began to exercise the logical parts of my brain that had been buried in delusion for so long. I think somewhere at the back of my mind I had known all along that everything I believed in was too good to be true. If we really could be psychic, or use telekinesis or talk to the dead then why were these things not more mainstream? Wasn't it all just a happy daydream that world peace & the enlightenment of all people was inevitable? Learning about science started off an irreversible process inside me that cut through my feelings of foolishness about believing in magic. I went through a long internal struggle, trying to make the things I was learning fit with the things I already knew. I read a book given to me by my Mum called 'The Road Less Travelled'. It's a kind of self help book (but a very good one I'd recommend it!) to do with changing our world map & accepting that in the search for truth we will encounter pain, that pain is a sign we are moving on instead of stagnating.

After this I started reading down the route of psychology, how our human brains can trick us, how people can hypnotise themselves not to feel pain, how people can speak in tongues, have religious experiences & hallucinations, all through the power of the mind the mind. I found it (& still do) incredible. All these things were far more extreme than the personal experiences I claimed proved I was right (generally a warm fuzzy feeling of 'energy'). Even the placebo effect alone could disprove a lot of what I thought I knew.

In one final attempt to cling on to what I knew was safe, I read book that has changed many lives before mine, The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins. I'm not going to go in to its exact contents now, if you haven't read it you should, even if you're an atheist. It gives you lots of lovely, provable arguments to use against Christians! It takes every so called 'proof' of religion or the supernatural & smashes its brain out against a wall. Overnight it forced me to honestly confront myself in a flash of realisation I became a born again atheist.

It was very weird at first, seeing the world through different eyes. If you've ever been really depressed you can kind of imagine what it feels like, your perception is skewed, even when you're not consciously thinking about it. Except it's not even like that because when you're depressed you know you are. Imagine believing for your entire life that everyone is against you but pretending not to be. Your family tell you everyone is against you, people you know tell you it too. You read books about yourself saying that the conspiracy is true, you live your life with this feeling looming over you, every time someone speaks you know it's about you. Then one day, you just wake up. The world is normal, what you see is what you get, you don't have to watch your back or constantly try to second guess people. Everything just.... is. That's what it's like becoming an atheist. A massive weight just lifted off me. I was no longer delusional, the world didn't need its mind changing, everything was exactly as it seemed!

Moving on from my deconversion I felt empowered more than I ever had before to finally take practical responsibility for the world & its problems. Quakers had taught me to look outwards & help people, but there's always a part of you as a believer in the supernatural that thinks things are exactly as they are supposed to be. Since then I have felt so much more in touch, so much more able to deal with the world & its problems. I have also learnt that there is no right or wrong way to deal with things. You just have to experiment & use the evidence to decide what works. It's simple really!

My Route To Atheism Part I

2010-12-01T14:06:00.000Z

Recently I've watched a couple of really interesting conversion stories (here & here)

One is from a Pentecostal the & other just a very committed Christian! I thought it would be interesting to post my own deconversion story as I come from a very different background from these two & in some ways hippy spirituality is harder to escape from because it doesn't tie you down to any rules & so in some ways seems a lot more reasonable.... anyway... here you go!

I was brought up Christian. Not particularly strictly, but we had to go to church every Sunday, me & my brothers were baptised & the church was a fairly large part of our social life. I went on a few Christian camps & conferences as a youngster & age 10 I chose to be confirmed in to the church which involved meeting up once a week with another church member & taking a course of discussions about faith & the bible. Looking back I'm pretty sure I mostly did this purely because I wanted to be part of the club. All the other kids at church were doing it & I simply didn't want to be left out. My weekly discussion meetings were with a lovely lady who gave me Ribena & chocolate so it was win win really! To be honest, at that age I didn't identify as 'Christian' really, it was more a kind of family social club. My church (URC) was pretty relaxed & no one was trying to make me feel guilty for anything.

When I was 10 my Dad left our family & moved away, & without his influence & probably because she had gone through a big upheaval in her life, my mum gradually began to drift away from the church & became involved with the Glastonbury set - a kind of DIY 'spiritual' belief born out of the hippy generation & moulded to fit modern life.

I kept going to church for a while but became increasingly influenced by my Mum's beliefs which centred around 'energy' - an invisible force in the universe of which we were made & which could be manipulated by humans to do almost anything including heal people, connect with people psychicly (including the dead) & connect to a 'higher plane' where all souls were one & knew the 'truth' about the universe. This energy could be controlled by meditation, mental discipline, ritual ceremony & by living a 'natural' life.

As I was pretty young and immature at the time, I think what really drew me to it was actually the idea of power . Think now how much people are amazed by Derren Brown & other illusionists well I thought that I could learn to do that stuff for real. I was completely enamoured & blinded by the thought that I could manipulate the laws of physics & during this time I began to sink in to a delusion that was only supported by people I trusted. For example, My mum offered me the chance to see a homeopath.

Seeing our homeopath was a great experience, she was a lovely warm lady called Andrea. We used to go to her house & we'd get to talk to her for as long as we needed about our lives, it was a form of therapy. Then at the end of the session she would prescribe remedies to us, & the amazing thing about them was they were for anything! Not just physical ills but for literally anything that was wrong with our lives, Andrea had a pill. Sometimes she would use a pendulum to help her decide, & that was something that really impressed me. You can try it yourself in fact, just get some string & attach a weight to the bottom. Now hold the end of the string in one hand & believe that you can make it swing. Concentrate fully on it, blanking out anything else in your mind. You should be able to get some pretty good movement going on it, some people I knew could make their pendulums fly round & they had really strong energy! For me, this was definite proof - how else could you have just a direct physical effect on the world. Of course it's complete rubbish, you're actually just moving your hand, just minutely enough that even you don't notice, but I wasn't interested in anything that didn't prove my world view.

So I started playing around with 'energy' & learning about the theory of it from people my Mum knew & in Glastonbury. Around this time I went on a Church summer camp where I met a boy & we developed a bit of a thing. I taught him all about energy & we would sit up all night testing our powers & playing weird psychic games. Due to a mixture of staying away from home & being in a heightened environment it all started to get a bit surreal. I was acting exactly like one of those creepy spiritual gurus, it was all very intense. I had an interest in paganism & wicca at the time as well & obviously there was a bit of sexual tension going on too, it was a very surreal week. Afterwards I found out that he'd told people in church about me & they said he wasn't to contact me again as I was clearly influenced by the devil!

As I got older though, I grew out of needing to control things quite so much & focused instead on my own spiritual growth. I learnt about chakras & the way energy is ordered & flows through us, about ways of harnessing it to achieve enlightenment. I went on courses on psychic defence, healing & many other things, picking the bits that sounded fun & ignoring the rest. Most of what I incorporated came from eastern religion, some from paganism, lots of it I simply made up (but still believed in). In that culture you are encouraged to do things your own way. You are taught that each person has their own path & however you chose to raise your energy is fine as long as you don't hurt anyone else. Looking back this seems like such a childlike world view, but I guess for a teenager looking for answers it's very comforting to think that we're all heading in the right direction, just some people are further on than others. It's a movement that sees itself as very tolerant (& in fact is compared to some denominations!) but unfortunately its tolerance is also its prejudice.

It's very hard when you're striving to ardently towards enlightenment, to look at non-spiritual folk & think patronisingly how less advanced their soul is. There's a general belief that when you're born, your soul has chosen its life in advance in order to gain the experiences it needs to be enlightened. So you look at someone in a wheelchair or a poverty stricken country & think they have chosen that life. That's not to say you don't try to help people, but you can see how the danger of prejudice & apathy is constantly there. It's equally as bad as the Christian who thinks God has punished you, or the Buddhist who thinks you have bad karma.

Surrounding all of this was a massive subculture with festivals, drugs & a generally laid back & hippy vibe going on. I immersed myself in this, & actually, this is the one aspect of it that I am genuinely thankful for. I had a bloody brilliant time hanging out with people in fields, singing & dancing, getting high & generally having a whale of a time. If there's one brilliant thing about the spiritual movement it's that they know how to have fun. Also, they do genuinely build up your self esteem, encourage you to be an individual & foster an appreciation of, & respect for, all living things.

Around the age of 15/16 I started going to Quaker Meeting, & that is what the next section is about.

How To Wake Up Happy & Get Places On Time

2010-11-04T11:58:00.000Z

I've always been a natural early riser & through my life I've been repeatedly surprised by people who get so stressed out in the morning over something as simple as getting ready & end up late & miserable. In my infinite wisdom I've decided to share with you my steps for getting places on time...

First off, good mornings are a state of mind, you can't just expect it to work out you have to decide it's going to be good. If you're always late for work, make a decision now, because when you're sleepy & in a nice warm bed you're going to need all the willpower you can muster.

Things to think of the night before...

1. Plan In Advance
Take as much brain power out of your morning as posttible. Whatever you can do the night before, do it. Make your lunch, decide what to wear, leave important things beside the door. Do it while you're functioning normally.

2. Use Your Amazing Mental Powers
Before you fall asleep, say clearly to yourself the time you expect to wake up. Your internal body clock keeps going even when you're asleep & if you practice doing this you can make yourself naturally wake up around the right time, which leads me on to step 3....

3. Don't Use An Alarm Clock!
That might sound stupid & scary to you, but I stopped using an alarm clock a few years ago & I never sleep in! By putting the responsibility on your brain to make sure what the time is you're more likely to wake up properly. You don't even have to open your eyes to hear the alarm so consequently you're probably going to go right back to sleep.

4. Use The Sun
Depending on what time you have to get up, the sun might be friends with you. Sleep with the curtains open & you'll find it much easier to wake up. Artificial light is not your friend.

Things to do when you wake up...

5. Open Your Eyes!
In addition opening your eyes to look at the time, try to keep your eyes open for as long as possible when you wake up, it can be tiring but it'll help. Don't just gaze in to the distance either - actually look at things.

5. Get The Fuck Up
The point of actually getting out of bed is hard & it's going to be hard whatever time you do it. You know that 10 minutes in bed won't make you feel less tired so don't be indulgent & take away from your morning time, get the fuck out of bed!

6. Keep Track Of Time
Instead of stressing yourself out by looking at the clock every few minutes, use the radio or music to keep track of the time. You'll be aware of it but not stressed about it.

7. Use A Range Of Times
Instead of deciding to leave at a certain time, chose a time period in which you must leave. If you're ready at the start of it then leave right away, if you've still got stuff to do then fine! Don't focus on the last possible time you can leave because it'll hold you up & if you realise you've forgotten something at the last minute then you're fucked!

8. Have Some Me Time
I always leave about 15 - 20 mins after I've got everything ready to just sit down & read a book. Having a bit of relaxing time means you're not just rushing all morning & it makes me waaaay happier going out the door.

The Journey...

9. Be Early
Don't try to arrive dead on the time when you need to, if you're anything like me you'll stress all the way trying to work out how many minutes late you might be. Arrive 15mins early & everyone will think you're awesome anyway.

10. Don't Re-spend Time
Leave yourself extra time dotted around the place. Give the bus journey and extra 10 mins, give your morning routing an extra 15. Whatever you think you'll need, but just don't shift the times around. Don't take 20 mins off your morning time & think you'll just have 5 extra for the bus. If you stick to your decision, then at every part of your morning you'll have surplus time.

11. Have A Rhyme
I have a list of things that I definitely need every day (phone, wallet, bus pass, ID, headphones). Repeat this to yourself at the door & actually physically check that you have them. That way, no nasty surprises!

What Is More Important, Truth Or Meaning?

2010-09-24T15:33:00.000+01:00

I'm sure you all heard the news that Stephen Hawking recently stated that new theories of the start of the universe leave no space in which to postulate a God. Now I haven't read his latest work & I'm not about to go in to scientific theory, what I'm interested in is the reaction of Christians & other religious people to this statement. Non surprisingly I heard an awful lot of very defensive statements on the radio, mostly rehashing old & long disproved arguments about irreducible complexity (seriously Christians, is being proved wrong a million times not enough for you?)

The statement that made my blood boil, though, was some priest on radio 4 complaining that 'people like Steven Hawking & Richard Dawkins spread despair." Dispair?! Are you fucking kidding me?!

Now, for me becoming an atheist was a moment of pure euphoria. It was the falling away of the niggling doubts & contractions that had been at the back of my mind for many years. It was like finally telling the secret that I had been keeping from myself & actually just living instead of trying to perpetuate that lie all the time (it's not like a normal lie - religion takes over your entire waking life.) I realise that it's not such a joyous process for everyone, there is often the stressful 'coming out', dealing with religious family members or leaving the support structure of you church. However what seems to be more rare is the one thing that theists go on & on about as the reason not to lose your faith, existential crisis. The loss of purpose of your life, & as one person has said to me online this week - your inevitable suicide. Yes you read that right, without God, you have no option left but suicide.

Now I'm sorry, but just because there is no meaning to life, doesn't mean there is no experience. Just because you know you love because of chemicals & synapses doesn't mean you can't enjoy the experience of being in love. In fact you can probably enjoy the first guilt free sex of your life - congratulations! It's ok to be gay, it's ok to be kinky, it' all freaking ok!

And removing religious guilt doesn't automatically mean removing morals either. Look back over the last 1000 years of human history. Ok, so there's no 'master plan' we're making it up as we go along; but evolution has left ingrained in us the blueprints of how to function as a society, & we are sociable animals after all. The more we learn about ourselves, the greater the tools we have to deal with problems in society. The problem with religion is that it discourages people from dealing with reality, & denying reality is never a good thing, no matter how much better it might make you feel. Believing you don't have cancer won't cure it; believing you are a millionaire won't get rid of your debts. How many times have you heard that question 'why does God let wars happen?' If you remove God from the equation you get the question 'why do wars happen?' Now there's a question we can begin to tackle on a practical level. We can begin to analyse the nature of what it is to be human & look at ourselves in a truly honest light. If you leave God in then at best you may get prayer & believe me, talking to an invisible sky fairy is not going to bring about world peace.

Atheists aren't going to start murdering or fucking everyone they meet, that, frankly, would not be a viable sociological model, unless we want to all live alone in caves. And with our advanced human brainpower we can analyse, create, learn about our own behaviour to a level that no other animal can, & even better than that, we can take all the credit! Now there's genuine free will!

Just because God didn't create the universe doesn't make it any less astounding or beautiful. The fact God didn't tell us what is right & wrong means we have even greater reason to admire those figures from history who moved humanity forward. Discovering the truth that there is no supernatural power means that we are free to chose the meaning of our own lives.

I am not the first person to suggest this, & I am not the person most successful in perusing this goal, but I will repeat it none the less because it is the way I've chosen & for me it's the single greatest way to pursue meaning in your life. Use your humanity. Go for excellence, learn everything you can, hone your body, find inspiration in nature, love people, do whatever you can with the sum of your parts & know that YOU are the one moving forward without even the suggestion of relying on a fictitious man in the sky.

So next time you hear someone say that Atheism spreads despair, just think about your immeasurable potential as a human being & be glad that there's no God to send you to hell if you chose to simply live a good life, however you see fit.

...

2010-09-20T19:27:00.000+01:00

Tonight I came home to this;

Not to mention the poo right by the front door. With a dog print in. And dog prints all the way through the house.

I love my dog :)

10 Reasons Why Ad Is Awesome!

2010-09-08T12:16:00.000+01:00

I'm getting really in to making listular posts at the moment (yes I am aware this is only the 2nd one) so here is another list for you. In no particular order...

1. He made an awesome awesome stair gate as a surprise so that we can hide from Tron upstairs & can't interrupt our 'alone time' any more.

2. I once walked in to find he had made himself in to a T-Rex by sellotaping his forearms to his shoulders.

3. He performs the most realistic clown car horn noise I have ever witnessed.

4. He can use his magic 'quiet voice' to make irate people do whatever he wants. Truly he is a man of awesome powers.

5. Whenever he does impressions of someone we both think is st00pid, he does a Stewie voice which makes the impression that much more credible.

6. He drives a hearse! That means I get to be cool by proxy simply by getting a lift somewhere.

7. He is not averse to me making jokes about domestic violence in public, even if it makes him look like the bad guy.

8. He plays in a super amazing band. When I watch them play I like to pretend that they are really famous & I have never met him so when he comes & talks to me afterwards I can get really excited. I love being excited!

9. He has superlative insulting skillz. A few of my favourites are;
> Shitehawk
> Ass bandit
> Insulting me for being fat! Hilarious!
> Whiskey dick
> Monkey bum

10. He makes a mean cup of tea. Believe me, this is very important

A Different Doggy!

2010-09-01T08:15:00.000+01:00

Last night Martin the dog psychologist came to visit us. He was A.MA.ZING. After greeting him at the door with the dog duly being sat on, he told us he was going to knock again & this time we should just let Tron do his thing. For any of you who have experienced one of Tron's greetings you can guess what happened next... but no! Tron got as far as the door & Martin thrust his backpack at him making a hissing noise. He proceeded to enter the room, pushing Tron before him, no eye contact, no greeting. After 2 or 3 minutes, he managed to sit on the sofa with Tron simply lying on the floor (furiously wagging his tail of course!). It was simply amazing. Then of course, he offered Tron a treat & everyone was friends, but no jumping happened & no faces were mauled. I knew then we were in for an amazing night.

He taught us lots of techniques, many of which I'd heard of or even tried, but what made him different was what tied them all together - because Martin is a psychologist not a trainer. There were no tricks or performing, in fact he barely spoke to Tron at all, what he did was to explain how we could work together to give him a secure place as part of our home.

Over the past few months I've been guilty of giving Tron whatever he wants simply to get an easy life. He wants our dinner? I give him a massive treat to keep him busy. He wants to pull on the lead? I cut the on lead part of our walk to a quick dash across the road where I can let him off. Consequently he's turned in to a little bugger! Ruling to roost, demanding attention ALL THE TIME! Jumping up at people, going wherever & doing whatever he wants all the time. The final straw came for me when he started running off after other dogs on our walks, I was reduced to tears on a number of occasions, sprinting around, imagining what child or old lady he'd knocked over...

Well thanks to Martin that's all over now, & even before he'd left I noticed the change in Tron. As well as that Tron's going to stay with Martin & his dogs while we're at the tournamnt & I know he's going to have a whale of a time! He is a truly warm, energetic man with an obvious love for dogs & I'm so happy that I picked up the phone :)

Come On Atheists!

2010-08-20T18:29:00.000+01:00

Recently I keep Stumbling Upon this graphic about how Christians fucked everything up for us. I mean, we could be flying to work by now if it wasn't for those delusional fools! As an Atheist I like to think that I am a rational person who weighs evidence & is fair & even handed in my denial of a god.

Unfortunately, as much as I love the sentiment of the graph, I just can't get behind such a spurious claim. How on earth have they measured 'scientific advancement'?! Seriously, this thing is vague rubbish & makes us all look bad. I reserve the right to laugh at Christians who hold up the eye as proof of ID without remotely understanding the subtle & intricate principles of evolution, but I could forgive them for accusing us of clutching at straws if this is all we can come up with in response.

If anyone can work out where this came from & what (if any) data it is based on, I for one would love to see it.

Bloodstock by Numbers

2010-08-17T09:52:00.000+01:00

Number of people who put up their tent in torrential downpour + wind + lightning: 5

Number of alcoholic beverages drunk by me: 4

Number of people dyed permanently green by GWAR spunk: 3

Number of hats belonging to the general public stolen by Karl on the dodgems: 2

Number of evil bunnines fighting men in pink cardies: 1

Also featuring...

Roondolph

T-Rex rolls a fag
Tard!

sleeping baby

Things That Tron Does That Are Annoying

2010-08-03T10:27:00.003+01:00

I pretty much have the best dog in the world. He's totally awesome & he likes to do totally awesome things like sometimes when he's on the lead & really excited he actually does somersaults because he wants to jump around but he's attached to the lead so he goes in a circle (you kind of have to see it). Also he scares off annoying people, because in wanting to say hello to them he often looks like he would like to eat their face. All positive so far.

Sometimes, however, Tron can be really really annoying, & in case any of you are feeling pretty upset right now because you thought your dog was the best in the world, I'm going to (rather charitably) make a list some of his major faults.

1. He likes to dig.
Pretty normal for a dog you might think, until you realise that I have a concrete yard out the back which is pretty much undiggable unless you're a JCB (or a Clive Hurt). Tron likes to dig inside the house. specifically, in the sofapit.

He particularly likes to do this directly behind you when you are sitting on the sofa.

2. He leans
Tron likes to sit too close to you. By which I mean he lies to sit so that he's pinching your skin with his bum. He also likes to stand across your lap with his side in your face. He also likes to sit on your chest while you're sitting up. He'll manoeuvre himself in to one of these positions & then when you try to nudge him out the way he'll lean. He'll lean on you with a force that is equal & opposite to the force you're applying so you have no option but to push him over. He will then collapse on the floor & look at you reproachfully until you give him a guilt biscuit.

3, He thinks bones are alive
Once the bone is sufficiently chewed up & can no longer be regarded as food, the bone dons a new mantle & becomes a living, breathing plaything. He puts the bone in the middle of the floor & leaps around it in circles barking. Then he backs off, crouches down & rushes towards it, grabbing it in his mouth & throwing it across the room. Then he actually pretends to be surprised, leaps around & barks at it some more & the cycle continues. Don't believe me? Here is proof (this is from a distant time when we thought this behaviour was cute. He's not really a barky dog, but honestly, it can get pretty wearing...)

There are probably another million things that he does that are annoying but I can't think of any more at the moment. He is currently curled up on the sofa next to me having a snooze so I can sit here & blog in peace. Until he farts.

Update

I thought of another one. He lies on his back on the sofa chewing a toy. He drops the toy on the floor. He chews your sleeve until you retrieve the toy. He immediately drops the toy again.

He is doing this to me right now.

Update Update

Whatever you are doing, if he wants your attention, he will put his head DIRECTLY IN THAT THING. So if I am doing washing his head goes in the washing basket. If I am typing on the computer he puts his head on the keyboard. If he can't reach the thing he bashes against your legs & tries to knock you over. I have so far managed to deter him from putting his head in the oven but it's only a matter of time...

Another update update

He wags his tail when you are telling him off.

He brings toys for you to throw but leaves them just out of reach then whines at you. You get up, get the toy & throw it. He runs after the toy, collects it, brings it almost all the way back, then drops it just out of reach & whines at you.

Choice Pt I

2010-07-28T11:39:00.001+01:00

There's a discussion on Radio 4 at the moment about women who are childless. No I'm not talking about adoption & IVF, I'm talking about women who chose not to have children.

In the same way that feminists cringe when people assume their nurse will be a woman, I cringe when people assume I will be dropping a sprog simply because I have a womb. The mildest reaction I come across is this surprise but it can also be the most frustrating; it comes in the same class as 'you're young, you'll want them when you're older' - the 'Biological Clock' argument if you will. It was actually quite a relief to hear a woman in her 40's say that she knew in her 20's that she definitely didn't want kids, because I'm sick of patronising people metaphorically patting me on the head & saying 'you'll understand when you're older'. They don't tell 20 yr olds who want babies to wait & see if they change their mind do they?

The problem with the Biological Clock argument is that it assumes this person knows more about my body than I do. If I do have this hypothetical clock then I haven't heard a tick out of it yet. Not only do I not have a clock, I don't even have the concept of time, there is no drive in me to want to be around children. Consequently I don't feel 'childless' any more than I feel 'badgerless'. Although I would totally love a badger. I find it very hard to believe that in the next 20 years my personality will go through some Jekyll & Hide transition & I will suddenly find myself in Mothercare crying at teething rings.

I also resent the idea that my body decides what I do. If modern woman can be attracted to scrawny men with dangerously low testosterone levels but massive brains, then I can quite happily go without pregnancy thank you.

At the other end of the scale from surprise is outright hostility. Luckily I'm rather too young to encounter many women who simply left it too late, or have exhausted all their options apart from adoption, but I have encountered them, & in my experience they can be the most vitriolic of them all. Some people seem to think that it's my duty to have a baby simply because I am female (did they have children through a sense of duty? How would said children feel about hearing that?!), or they think I value my career over children (really, I'm not that dedicated to my £16k/year job I assure you!), or they think that I am lying to myself for some up-to-now unidentified reason. They are simply unable to make the leap from their own barren existence, to a perfectly happy life with a dog. Personally I would love to think that they are jealous of my ability to do whatever I want at any given moment, but that's probably projectionism. They probably really do love babies, & good for them.

I am sick and tired of having explain myself to people like this, & unfortunately I can only see it getting worse as I get older, but at least having written this blog I have something to wrap round a brick & throw through their window.

And I'm not getting BLOODY MARRIED EITHER!!!!!

Are you telling me you'd rather have the child over the puppy? At least the puppy can bring your slippers...

Conference To Bout!

2010-07-25T09:35:00.000+01:00

Yesterday was a good day! Me & Mooks & Sui went to the first ever Manchester Sports Club Conference! It was all corporate & stuff, we all got given folders with information & name badges! There was an NBA player making an inspirational speech about youth & basketball! Wow.

We went to a workshop on funding application which was really helpful, although every time we tried to write anything down the man in control of the powerpoint clicked the slide on. Anyway, we discovered that the best thing for us to do is apply for CASC status for Manchester Roller Derby, which is kind of like being a charity but with less paperwork. Also there is a very nice company, who, for a small fee, will do all the sorting out for us! Yay!

When we left I think all of us were a little bit more enthused about fundraising & having a constitution & stuff, because when we have all that stuff we will be proper & we will be able to do things like apply for bigger funding.

In the afternoon we went to see Rainy City play Stuttgart Valley. It was only my second bout ever (& Prime 8's second!) & was bloody marvellous! I was on the edge of my seat the whole time & shouted 'Did you see that?!' at pretty much everything that happened as if I was in the crowd with a bunch of really short sighted people. Rainy City played fabulously & won by quite a lot & I learnt loads & saw a lot of plays in action that I have only read on paper so far. Seeing it on video just is not the same (although I do shout 'Did you see that?!' at the screen quite often too!)

We mooched on down to the after party & I met a few of the Liverpool Roller Birds who were lovely. And Scouse.

Today we're meeting at the Arcadia at 2 for our first skate on the NEW PINK TRACK!!!!! Can't freaking wait. Last night I joined the ranks of Arcadians who have dreamt about that track. I love the Arcadia like it was a puppy! I just want to stroke it and feed it biscuits.

Prime 8 with Mooks making the best face ever:

Proper Scrimmage!

2010-07-19T10:02:00.001+01:00

Well guys, yesterday was our first ever scrimmage! It was so awesome I don't even know where to begin...

In the morning me, Bones & Scary met up & had a big old t-shirt making session which was great cause I think it really took our minds off the afternoon & stopped us feeling to nervous. It was great just to sit around eating cake & cutting up old shirts. I don't think I was feeling nervous about any one thing, just anticipatory. We just about finished in time & set right off - we were only 5 minutes late!

We arrived to find an impatient Ash. skates on, standing at the top of the stairs! Just enough time to ask how the RCRG/London game went & then straight in for stretching. I can tell you now the next lot of stretches I lead are going to be hardcore! I've learnt some lovely new short person stretches. I've even found one I can't do yet. Roll on warm up time!

Warm up was followed by 3 drills one after the other - falling in pairs & catching up round the circuit, squats & sprints - 30s of each round & round (I noticed a LOT of cheating in this from bloody everyone.. squatting means shoulders back slackers!), and then in to 10mins laps. I got 57 (57!!!!) laps in 10 mins. I couldn't freaking believe it! The floor there is sooooo shiny & slick I think I was doing 10s laps which is unheard of for me in the Arcadia. I think everyone else got a lot in as well - by 5mins I was on 28 - a new record!!

We did some lateral drills & I think I've finally mastered the old one foot in front of the other cut. We were told to lean on our front leg, but I was secretly pleased to see some of the rather talented Roller Birds leaning on the back because that's what I do & it freaking works so much better! We did figure 8's where you race each other in pairs around cones doing a tight arc round the cone & then a crossover etc etc. Twas good but I was shit at it - more of that please!

And then, fiiiiiiinally, scrimmage was announced! There wasn't even time to be nervous... we teamed up & had a quick huddle where they explained the blocking strategy (strategy! I know!) to us, I pulled Jammer assist first which I thought, ok, if I have 1 mission at least I know what to do. I think I did alright as well, I pulled of 3 successful arm whips, tempered only by accidentally blocking the jammer when she came in for a hip whip oops! The other blocking roles where a bit more tricky & a lot of the time I felt like I was just being a body rather then actively helping. I jammed twice, got lead jammer once & scored a grand total of zero points that I counted! Forget to check the bloody stats at the end though duh!

2 trips to the penalty box (forearms!), two major smacks in the the wall & a few buckets of sweat later it was all over & the black team won (I was on the white team!). Our ladies did super awesome - I distinctly heard one girl on my team go 'wow, G Whizz is good.' Which made me grin :D

Having had a chance to test out all the positions now I think I definitely prefer blocking to Jamming. I'm gagging to have a proper go at pivot & boss everyone around a bit ;)

Me & Bones line up against each other:

Arcadians fill the box!

Bones action shot:

Scary leads the pack:

Ash nails that arm behind the back thing. And gets lead jammer:

Minimum Skills Pt II

2010-07-15T10:20:00.000+01:00

I passed wooooooo! Last night me, Scary & Crackity Bones all aced our written tests so now we get to play on Sunday in Leeds. I'm mega excited & totally nervous all at the same time. We played a couple of jams last night & when I jammed I was thinking about it so much that when I went on my toe stops my leg was shaking! I just told myself I hadn't eaten enough & tried to concentrate (I still committed 3 majors in 1 jam - erk!). I'm more worried about spending the whole time in the penalty box that getting knocked over. Being hit is par for the course, but I'm just not experienced enough to avoid those accidental penalties. Last night I crashed in to the back of 3 people at once & knocked them all over! Avoiding some obvious things just doesn't come quite naturally yet, I guess this is practice isn't it!

We're meeting up at Bones' house on Sunday morning to put our names & numbers on some black & white t-shirts. I'll make sure to get Ad to take lots & lots of pictures too. ARGH CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!

St00pid Feminists

2010-07-13T21:30:00.000+01:00

As some of you may well know, I am extremely uneasy about calling myself a feminist. In my experience a lot of them are, sadly, complete twats. I've just read a 'feminist' article about Roller Derby, basically saying it's anti-feminist because the women wear short skirts. To be fair to the writer, it's not quite that simplistic, but she does go on to compare it to cheerleading, and... wait for it... mud wrestling. Gah! For the sake of even handedness I'll give you the link, but it's just one of a stream of articles on a similar line & my answer to all of them would be pretty much the same. And here it is :)

Derby girls are not pandering to the patriarchy by wearing short skirts. It's your erroneous view that is the problem - in implying we might be degrading ourselves it is actually YOU who are pandering to the male pov! Bodies are created naked. Sexiness, perversion, degradation are all in the eye of the beholder. Is a little girl sexy because she walks around naked? If someone, male or otherwise, were to imply she was then people would immediately take the (quite correct) stance that that person was a pervert, yet somehow because we have fully developed women's bodies that men desire, it is our fault if men view us as sex objects. That's the most anti-feminist thing I've ever heard!

Some radical feminists make the mistake of looking at women through their simplistic & stereotypical view of men's eyes. Feminism is about recognising that men are perfectly sane & rational human beings. They are in control of themselves & they are not idiots. Give them some credit! Just because we chose to dress in outlandish & revealing costumes does not mean they can't see past that - don't treat them like morons!

As someone very adroitly said above (in the original article)- ever heard of wrestling! Yep that's right - men in skimpy outfits throwing each other about. A large dose of theatricality & showing off - not a 'serious' sport in conventional outfits, but is the crowd full of women drooling over them? No! They are recognised as the sportsmen & entertainers that they are. By suggesting Derby is anti-feminist you are simply widening the perceived gap between men & women's sport, & doing us a disservice.

Don't make the mistake of thinking that men cannot tell the difference. Don't lower yourself to the level of a hysterical woman, seeing patriarchy lurking in every corner. And don't demean the efforts of empowered women who chose to get up & do something they want to without apologising to anyone, by sitting on the internet abusing them for wearing a short skirt while they do it.

Original article

Cleaning & Falling Over

2010-07-12T09:51:00.000+01:00

Yesterday was official clean everything at the Arcadia day. I arrived at 10.30am to see this laid out on the skate track;

oo-er!

We spent the whole morning just trying to pair things up, while Neil, Rich & Aiden sorted out wheels & broken stuff. By 2pm we'd actually moved on to sorting out the pairs & cleaning things & I have never laced so much footwear in one day. Not even when I worked in the stockroom at Clarks! After a quick break for 99p pizzas & a rules test (:D) it was back to the slog. Around 6ish we started putting all the things back in the skste room, which took us an hour & a half! By the time we finished my skin was coated in a thick layer of dust & I was properly wheezing. This morning when I woke up the dust had caused my normally pretty flat hair to spontaneously form an afro!

So now they way is paved for us to have a spangly new permanent track put down for us. Apparently we'll be the first team in Britain to have a purpose built track but I can't remember who told me it.... Whatever, it's going to be SUPER AWESOME. I genuinely cannot wait to have some 10' marks down. Eeeeeeep!

Aaaanyway. We FINALLY managed to get on the track & skate, & FINALLY managed to get tested on our minimum skills wooo! Only the written test to go & I can freaking scrimmage in Leeds on Sunday. Can't. Freaking. Wait. SO massive thanks to Joe, Claire & Ash for making it happen ;)

After everyone buggered off home me, Ash, Scary & Ad stayed behind & put in a little sneaky blocking practice. Although no one was allowed to hit Ash because of her knee so it was more falling practice but there you go! Finally left the Arcadia at 10.30pm. I love Arcadia days :)

Tidying

2010-07-10T10:51:00.000+01:00

Not many of you have seen my house, but since me & Ru moved in in September we've had a 'dumping room' Which has been piled up nearly to the ceiling, blocking our front window & making it completely impossible to answer our house phone (why is why we never answer it sorry!). In order to reset the router we have to negate an obstacle course composed of sharp pointy objects, heavy & precariously balanced objects & a floor covered in small rolly objects. Dangerous I'm sure you'll agree.

Well not any more! Yesterday we spent all day sorting the bloody lot out. It's amazing. We even re-arranged the furniture & so now we have a lovely actual usable room! We can see out of the window! We can answer the phone! And I also don't have to panic every time Tron dissapears in case he's being crushed by a tow bar or an obsolete PC.

Here is the proof....

So this morning I decided to organise my books which gives me a geeky warm feeling inside :D

A Little Doggy Breakthrough

2010-07-08T17:25:00.001+01:00

It's no secret to anyone that meets him, that my dog is not the smartest dog in the world. He's not stupid exactly, just very very easily distracted. He's always had problems with playging fetch outside. He can do it in the living room perfectly, but as soon as there's grass & bees to contend with he tends to run after the frisbee & then either lie down & roll on it, or ignore it & sniff around or run off.

Well today I had a little flash of inspiration. It all hinges around the idea that he hates being left behind & would much rather be the trail blazer up ahead. We did lots of great clicker training in the yard with liver treats to get the idea fresh in his head; then when we were out on the walk, instead of throwing the frisbee ahead & hoping he might notice, i threw it behind me & immediately walked of briskly leaving him behind. It worked! 6 times in a row he came trotting up to me with the frisbee in his mouth & dropped it to collect his reward. Clever doggy! Ok after that he forgot how to bring it back again, but he has a very short attention span & practice will make it automatic.

He's not stupid, he just learns in his own special way :)

Tron with the infamous frisbee.

Tattoos..

2010-07-07T13:10:00.002+01:00

Ok so whilst in Blackpool me & Ad got rather spontaneously tattooed.

I'd not really ever planned on getting my legs done although the thought had crossed my mind, but now I have my pretty little pirate ship looking all lonely down there, my mind has turned to an entire plan for that leg. Has anyone ever noticed how legs just aren't that common for women to get inked? Since doing a bit of research I've realised that apart from side of hip-thigh, women's tats seem to stay strictly above the waist.

Aaaaaanyway. The idea is to get a whisp of space - just a dark bit with some twinkly (and maybe shooting) stars in - starting at my ankle, going behind the pirate ship & up to my knee, then just above the knee I want some planets & an awesome steampunk spaceship.

I've been doing some research, found some cool things, but I think I want something more round - kind of like one of the old style diving vessals, but with some flames coming out the back! Here's what I found so far.

This one is the coolest - I know it's the wrong way up, but I want something going sideways! Just picture it with flames out the back & stars bedind. Awesome.

Rainy BBQ

2010-06-29T08:42:00.000+01:00

Me & Adam took advantage of the rain yesterday to cook outside! Yay! Well ok, it didn't actually start raining till we'd set everything up, but we weren't about to let that stop us...

Don't you just love being English?!

I've also been planning this summer's tattoo. This isn't the actual design of course - just something for size & placing. It took me a while to decide on the thigh but I think it looks pretty cool actually!

And finally... a picture of me looking cool ;D

Skate Park!

2010-06-26T21:29:00.000+01:00

Throughout my teenagerhood I was one of those girls who sits with the other girls at the side of the skate park & talks about periods while their boyfriends skate; waving & smiling whenever they shout that they've pulled off a new move & generally having the air of a mother at playgroup while the kids are being adequately supervised by professionals and are therefore having some time off for a good natter.

Today however, I got down & dirty & jumped right in to that skate park, all wheels blazing (not really, that would just be dangerous). I genuinely have new respect for my bin-liner friends now, that shit is HARD! The floor slopes all over the place & is made of CONCRETE, and the ramps are all shiney & designed to make you slip off them in any given direction. A lethal combination.

I thought I'd start safe & got on the smallest ramp in the place, bum first, & wobbled to my feet. I'm not scared of heights, but now I now how vertigo feels! I stood at the edge for ages, during which time more & more people noticed what I was doing & came over to watch & 'cheer me on'.

Finally I summed up the courage &, predictably, went straight on my arse. Strangely the pain of sliding bare skin across a concrete floor doesn't kick in iuntil a few hours later, which is probably what led me to have 2 more goes before giving in. I did, however, make it down without falling over! Woop! I may be foolhardy, but I don't like giving up.

After that I stuck to the half pipe which was a lovely shiny surface all over so a lot less painful to fall on.

It's also easier to stay upright because just as the point where you would hit the floor there's a nice smooth wall to rest your arms on. It does, however, lead to compromising positions like this;

A massive thanks to Mooks & Sui for suggesting picnic & skating, I had an awesome day. Even if my ass is bright red now.

A Week Of Fun

2010-06-23T10:10:00.000+01:00

Me & Ad were supposed to go to Somerset this week but unfortunately the Necronomicar is feeling a bit under the weather & it having a rest break until it can learn to slow down again (the breaks have gone). After a bit of a frantic scrabble trying to find any other way of getting down there with Tron, plus a weeks worth of his food, plus our skates, we decided to hang about in Manchester & plan a weeks worth of awesome day trips instead.

We've made a list! Here is what we did yesterday.

04.00am Get woken up by Tron because it's now light at 4 in the morning. Let him out, attempt to go back to bed.

08.00am Get woken up by Tron. Decide it's easier to just get up, go downstairs, feed him, spend a few fruitful hours on Facebook.

10.00am Put outdoor wheels on skates & finally find the guts to skate outside my house, seeing as all the kids are in school & I can pad up without feeling like a fool (how are bladers so cool? I'm too scared to skate without kneepads!) Discover it's awesome! Resolve to skate every day from now on.

11.30am Go for breakfast in a cool little cafe in Levenshulme where you can get a proper veggie breakfast for 4 quid & everyone acts like they know you. Deffo somewhere to go back to!

13.00pm Come home, feed the dog & then go for a walk round the nature reserve. Play with ice cubes, have a run around in the long grass. The whole walk lasted about 20mins (normally an hour!) before Tron was clearly knackered & thus easily catchable to put the lead on. Come home, cup of tea.

14.00pm Get the bus in to town & go the the Museum of Science & Industry (this was the original plan for the day but we spent rather a lot of time faffing!) Learn about the hardships of laundry in the 1950's and see some cool oldy worlde cars which we both agreed we would rather own than anything around now. Take some awesome tourist photos.

17.00pm Buy flip flops & cap from TK Maxx.

18.00pm Get £7 all you can eat Mediterranean buffet from Efes - awesome restaurant on Princess Street. I stuffed my face & couldn't manage any profiteroles.

19.15pm Get home, discuss rest of week, chill out till bedtime.

Not working is totally yaysome :D

Scrimmage!

2010-06-13T22:16:00.000+01:00

Tonight's skate practice went from zero to hero in 3 hours! I starting off with the smallest but most horriffic popped blister on my ankle, swerving all over the track, getting a worse lap time than the last 2 attempts. Gah! Not even 4 plasters at once saved me as I just sweated them off in minutes! However all was not lost. In the last hour or so we got our first chance to play a full on, mouthguards in, woman beating jam session wooop! It was seriously the most fun I've ever had standing up.

It was a bit daunting getting up there with girls who look like they've been doing it their whole lives, & I'm sure they were being kind of nice to us as well, but all thoughts of the blister were banished - there is simply too much to think about, not to mention KEEPING YOUR ELBOWS IN! Whoever would have thought that the hardest part of your body to control whilst skating would be your elbows! Anyway, I managed to get control of them for long enough to get one sweet hip check in & send someone flying. That is a feeling I could do with more of in my life.

Finally I managed to get up the confidence to have a go at jamming, I don't think I did too bad, I freaking made it through! And apparently earned 6 points, although to be honest, looking back it's all just a massive blur hehe. So despite earning the title 'Captain Elbows' I would say not a bad night at all.

And just as the icing on the cake we are now officially official. Yay!

Space Hoppers

2010-06-06T09:59:00.000+01:00

Friday was a sort of non-skating skate meet. Twas very fun, we ate biscuits & read the scary scary contract that the RCRG have to sign, it was all very serious but no doubt absolutely necessary ;) The evening concluded with a session of space hopper volleyball in a squash court which was a first for me & very enjoyable. Even though I got hit in the face. I also got to see our logo which is AWESOME & I simply cannot wait to have is displayed beautifully across my boobs.

Yesterday I went to the afternoon skate & had the floor to myself for a whole 10 mins, it was sweet! Although I have resolved to bring either headphones or my own CD next time as the music they play there is genuinely starting to send me slowly insane. I can feel myself regressing back to teenagerhood as I type! I practised turning round - something which for some reason is taking me waaaaaaay longer to master than anything I've tried so far. I can do the turny bit, but I seem to turn way too fast & end up careering off across the centre of the track or just falling over. I'm slowly building up the speed though I'll bloody get there if it kills me! If I don't go off in to a spin I accidentally put my toe stops down, but that has kind of worked to my advantage as I learnt to do the funky-backwards-toe-stop-stop that all the cool girls can do. Woop!

After skating I sat around on the grass with Mooks for ages & met her boys who are are very sweet. Then I went home for a serious session of bunting making for the neighbours day celebration today. Sadly, however, it's totally raining this morning gah!

Photos later!

Happy Skate Day

2010-05-29T17:51:00.000+01:00

I just worked out that it's 6 weeks since me & Ad started skating. It's insane cause it feels like we've being doing it for months. I've now pretty much mastered all the individual things you have to do to be able to play on a team. There's still blocking & pack skating to learn but I'm pretty confidant I can get there in not too long.

Last week one of the guys loosened my trucks for me (the bit that allows you to turn). I was petrified at first but what difference! I've still got so much to learn in terms of technique and hardware, but Mooks is an awesome teacher yay!

It also looks like the Arcadia bunch will be forming their own league which is well exciting. I'm so attached to them all already as we've learnt together & I feel kind of honoured to be there for the birth of something so special.

I just wish every day was skate day!

Puppy Graduation!

2010-05-02T20:59:00.000+01:00

Thursday was Tron's last ever puppy class... & he passed! He didn't really behave that well although the lady did say he could enrol on the advanced class. I was pretty surprised to be honest. He was presented with this very lovely rosette. How nice.

Hiring Skates

2010-04-30T19:00:00.000+01:00

You know what sucks? Turning up to skate practice & spending the first 15 mins careering all over the track, falling over & not being able to pull off any of the moves you could just 2 days ago. You spend half the time trying to readjust your feet to ankle boots instead of low anlkes, wheels that are too tight or lose (or worse, a random mixture of the two - ever tried to skate on boots that drift left? It's not easy!) or most commonly - someone else's broken in 2nds that dig in to your feet in unusual & imaginative way.

All this is why I cannot cannot wait for my skates to arrive.

Doing The Splits

2010-04-28T18:00:00.004+01:00

It's a crazy thing, working in a place where ' Happy Birthday' is proceeded by a 2 minute piano solo, & instead of clapping at the end, everyone does the splits.

Pain

2010-04-27T19:56:00.000+01:00

Last week I went to 3 skating sessions & another one last night. So far I have learnt to do crossovers, toe starts (where you run on the stops - it's scary!), whips, & lots & lots of falling over - some deliberate, mostly not!

I am now in massive amounts of pain. Last night was the most gruelling so far - they don't freaking let up! We had to get in a train of 8 people & the back girl had to push them round it was really hard, although everyone else was better than me I think I'm the smallest person there. If I ever want a chance of playing a bout I think I'd better just learn to skate really fast!

More skating tomorrow night anyway so today I will be spraying liberally with deep heat & having a nice long bath. So far is nothing though cause as soon as I order my skates I'm gunna get me some outdoor wheels so I can practice every day woop! I can totally see how this thing eats your life :D

In other news, The Hot Mikado opens next week. Despite all the madness at work we've actually managed to get the show on! It's going to be amazing, but only thanks to the cast, the management just seem to like getting rid of people left right & centre & also giving us as little info as is humanly possible. Well anyway, I have a job so I guess that's a good thing!

Ad bought a PS3 yesterday & got Heavy Rain to go with it. It's nice. It might even get me off the skates for a minute.

Roller Derby!

2010-04-17T21:32:00.000+01:00

This afternoon me & Ad went to watch the lovely Claire play roller derby - it was freaking AWESOME. It's a contact sport on wheels with lots of girls in fishnets! The basic idea is to lap a pack of people on skates without getting shoved out the way & earning points. It's proper fast & exciting - I was on the edge of my seat frankly. There are like a million referees as well, all waving their arms around in very specific ways, not to mention some very inventive blocking techniques!

So I picked up some details at the end & on Wednesday I'm going to my first Roller Derby practice - mostly just to try & not fall over I think - I'm not the worlds best skater. I can feel an obsession starting...

Here are photos Ad took today;

Nort's Homecoming

2010-04-03T11:54:00.000+01:00

You may remember that me & Ad picked up a stray dog the other day & sent him off to Manchester Dog's Home. Well this morning I got a message from the real owner! I posted a photo up on PetForums to see if anyone knew anything about him & the owner had been scouring the internet for news & came across it!

I know the Manchester Dog's Home put dogs up for adoption after 6 days & it's been 9, but hopefully he won't have gone yet & they'll be able to get him back. I've asked the guy to get in touch & let me know what happens.

His real name is Boss! How northern!

Awesome Puppy Class

2010-03-26T13:33:00.000Z

Well last night was the 2nd puppy class & what a monumental difference on last time! He had a few minutes of mentals (although we arrived early this time so he at least got to play with the other dogs a bit I think that helped!) but after that he just settled down & did whatever I told him. Amazing! He did keep going for the water bowl, like every minute but I think he figured out that was the only time I'd let him walk anywhere cause after a few goes he would head for it & as as soon as I followed he'd make a dash for another dog!

I attribute our success to two things. First that we've done shitloads of practice of ignoring other dogs & people in the street (plenty of bribery!), second that I brought bacon.

Nort

2010-03-25T10:05:00.000Z

Last night as we were walking home a random dog ran up to Tron & started fighting with him. We managed to catch it & pick it up but there was no one around and no collar on or anything. We wandered around & knocked on a few doors to see if anyone recognised it but no luck so in the end decided to take it back to Ad's house for the night.

After going back to my house for a collar & lead we set off, & weirdly on the way there we happened to talk to a woman who's son knew someone at Manchester Dog's Home so they gave us a number to call for him to be picked up. At home we gave him some food & a bit of cuddle - he was really friendly but proper shivery shakey & didn't eat much. We had to keep him & Tron separate so we gave him Trons crate & Tron slept on the bed with us for the first (& last!) time ever. I don't know how people do it he takes up so much room & he's only a puppy!

Anyway this morning a lady came & picked him up. Adam named him Nort which is Tron backwards. He was such a cute little guy I hope he finds his owner, I'm going to ring up later in the week & see how he's doing. This is him;

Tron & The Old Folks

2010-03-23T09:49:00.001Z

Yesterday I took Tron on the train to South Wigston so visit my Nan in the old folk's home. It was a bit of a mission & Tron went mental on the train to start with but eventually settled down & I was even brave enough to let him meet some kiddies in a pram & he was really good! He just licked their hands & let them hit in the face very patiently & didn't try to steal their crisps - well done Tronny!

He quite liked the home but I think he was a bit frustrated at haing to be on the lead the whole time, when I let him off in the garden he literally went mental & started running round & round in circles! He got to meet all the people & they all seemed to really enjoy having him. He also weed in my Nan's bedroom after I promised he wouldn't wee on carpet doh!

He managed to hold his bladder on the train though, both ways he weed on Birmingham station platform so I guess that shows what he thinks of Brum haha. On the train on the way home we met a very nice man & a girl who gave him loads of attention & he also tried to hump Winnie The Pooh, so all in all a successful day!

Not the greatest photo but you get the idea...

Tron's First Puppy Class

2010-03-19T10:08:00.003Z

Last night me & Ru took Tron to his first ever puppy class. It was a bit of a mission getting there but we finally walked in about 20mins late. There were a lot of pretty well behaved dogs sitting with their owners round the edges of a big hall. There was one other boxer there with similar markings to Tron, but red. We sat down next to a very nervous looking dog as the teacher was explaining how to teach your dog to sit.

Now, Tron knows a lot of stuff already. He can already sit, lie down, stay, drop, speak & hi-5 (thank Ad for the last one!), but put him in the vicinity of even one other dog & he simply goes *mental*. I spent the first 15 minutes just trying to get his attention, I tried running away, waving in his face, making stupid embarrassing noises & bribing him with every treat at my disposal & a squeaky spanner but he just leant on the end of the lead & tried to sniff bums! The staff there kept saying helpful things like 'don't be disheartened - he's a boxer' & then getting him to sit for them!

Finally however I did manage to get him under control & he even performed a few tricks for some cheese. So I think we won't be following the same course as everyone else but simply trying to get him to repeat things he already knows in a room full of other dogs!

Tron also has his own webcam now! He's not always on there & a lot of the time he's sleeping, but when my new webcam arrives & I get it set up better there will be lots of hilarity to be observed. You can find him here

Successful Morning..

2010-03-17T11:18:00.002Z

This morning I decided to dye my hair. I got halfway through before our shower which is currently broken & held together with LX tape decided to explode & sprayed water all over me. I went to get the towel & realised it was completely soaked in water to I legged it to my bedroom, dripping green all over myself & managed to towel my hair off. I was leaning over drying my hair with the dryer when I happened to look up & see Tron weeing on the bed. Just as our washing machine happens to be broken! So I hastily whipped the covers off the bed & sprayed the special spray on my band new mattress, came downstairs only to find my computer had crashed. Gah!

Another One down!

2010-03-14T18:01:00.003Z

Last night was the final night of Bye Bye Birdie & it was a proper success! It's always nice to go out on a good show & that one was definitely the best of the run. To be honest I can't believe we actually got to tech. On the day of the first show we didn't even have all the props in the building! It's been one of the most stressful shows I've ever worked on, 90% due to the completely incapable management of The Manchester College, they really have not got the first idea about theatre... rubbish!

Anyway, we've got the intermanet woop! So I will be back around for a bit. Tron is nearly the size of a horse & now eats twice his own body weight per day. He can also walk on his hands & say the alphabet backwards, & hi-5 (that one's real) god bless clicker training!

Managed by Morons

2010-02-08T15:26:00.003Z

Today we arrived at work for the read through of the musical. For those of you who don't know it's been tears & angst at work as they tell us we can or can't have the staff we need (literally) every other day. We've had meetings with lots of shouting etc. etc.

We finally managed to get Amy in to have ONE stage manager per show which frankly is laughable anyway, but she started today & all was well. Halfway through the read through Amy gets called out & told she doesn't have a job after all. Absolutely unbelievable. None of us know what to do or where to turn any more. Everyone is fuming, the shows are going to go down the can & production values have all but disappeared. I mean how are the students supposed to learn about theatre when they HAVE NO DSM.

In 2 months we will have 3 shows on at once & I can tell you know there is no way I'm working on all of them it's completely unprofessional, but as I'm the only member of stage management left in the building I'm just waiting for that meeting. When it comes I hope I have the guts to tell them to go fuck themselves. I am currently looking for another job but there's not much around :-(

I hate this place. Everyone is miserable, there is no budget & no staff, the management know so little about theatre they think you can do the fit up in a different place from the theatre. They embarrass themselves daily & yet we have to ignore it & take it when they make STUPID decisions that only prove them to be morons of the highest order.

Chasing Children

2010-02-01T14:00:00.003Z

This morning I took Tron down to the park for his off lead runabout. I've never been down there with him during the school run before - there were loads of kiddies about & unfortunately he freaking LOVES children. Someone wandered past with a pram & a small child & he was off! The child ran away from him in circles round the pram & Tron, thinking it was a fabulous game, chased after her round & round in circles. Eventually I managed to lure him away by squeaking a toy & running off & luckily he chased me.

I've been advised by some people in the know not to let him off around children again until he's either grown out of it or been trained better cause he could be put down if someone complained eek!

So now I need a long line & a harness that fits properly to go to the park in if it's kiddie time & I also need a willing child to practice with so he knows he won't get any attention unless he sits. Where am I going to get a child from?!?! Looks like I might have to get in to people trafficking...

Tron on his first time out

Puparama

2010-01-27T16:25:00.004Z

Well hi everyone, I know it's been bloody ages since I wrote anything, but I've been rather swamped in dog of late.

We picked up Tron on the 23rd December & since then it's been a rather steep learning curve for me despite all the research I did - it never quite works out in practice does it. If only dogs behaved as they were supposed to!

Over the past few weeks he's learned sit, lie down & will (rather awesomely) wee on cue! I'm not telling anyone the buzz word though cause there's definitely scope for abuse there :P

Today I took him for his first walk & he went totally mental & also picked up a million sticks which mysteriously didn't make it back to the house.

One thing I've learned about dog training it you have to not mind looking like an idiot. It ranges from being clearly ignored by your dog in front of people because there was nothing as interesting as them around at home when he'd apparently learnt the trick, to suddenly realising your voice has gone up about 3 octaves the more you try & get him to come back to you & you are actually talking like Joe Pasquale for the first time in your life without irony. Also walking up & down in front of the house attempting to get him to heel & only moving about 2 meters from your front door can be pretty humiliating.

Tron likes to stand on your face, lick bus windows, wee in a frisbee & will go mental over an egg box. You might think he's weird, I think he's awesome. Yay!

-Spongebob did what?

Week in Pictures

2009-12-16T17:22:00.003Z

This week I have been mostly...

Knitting a blanket! Actually it's been going on for a while but I'm on ring #4 now! Still haven't decided what to do in the middle though - suggestions on a postcard.

Knitting a baby hat for Mike & Nikki - Devil horns are the order of the day!

Getting Ad's car delivered! He's had it a week now & I think we're enjoying the extra attention!

Spending a LOT of money on doggy items. This isn't even the lot - we've got a crate, doggy bed, a million toys. Now we just need the dog!

Aww he's so cute! Only a week to go...

Dog On Balcony

2009-12-15T13:41:00.003Z

There's a block of flats opposite my house & one family keeps a dog out on their balcony for hours at a time. When the weather was hotter we could see the dog standing up on the railing & licking water off so they can't have put any food or drink out there. Recently the first dog disappeared & a new dog arrives & this one just barks & cries all the time it's so heartbreaking to hear. I don't even know what happened to the old dog...

So I've been making videos & I'm going to report them to the RSPCA. I feel so angry that I've waited for years & put so much money & planning in to giving Tron a good home & people like this can just disregard their animals & treat them so badly. That dog can jump so much it could easily go right over the balcony! Hopefully they'll take the dog off them & ban them from ever getting another one!

Puppy Picking

2009-11-30T07:18:00.003Z

Yesterday me & Ad & Ru hopped on the bus to Cheadle & went to the house of the puppy lady.

We got our first peek in to a big box full of sleeping puppies & as she tapped the side they all woke up & ran over, I think it might have been the cutest moment of my entire life!!

We all got a boy puppy to hold & sat down with them & had a bog long chat about everything. Mine was so gorgeous with a white diamond on the back of his neck & he was so tiny & he fell asleep in my lap all stretched out & was waggling his little feet around. We let them all have a play together & met the Mum & Dad as well who were both gorgeous & daft.

Finallly I managed to pick Tron out of the 4 - it was so hard - and here he is!

I thought I would have to wait a whole month to take him home but now it's only 3 weeks! Can't freaking wait!

In other news -

sign I saw in the Post Office this morning:

PLEASE NOTE: We "don't" sell car tax here.

What - so you sell black market car tax?

Am I Stoopid?

2009-11-25T14:00:00.003Z

Right. Maybe I'm stupid, maybe this advert is stupid - but doesn't it look like the glass is supposed to be something? It looks like a pigs troter to me but that don't make any sense now. Anyone got any idea? (Sorry for the shitty photo...)

Also, peanut butter, nutella, jam & banana bagel. Awesome or minging? Discuss.

Nice Things

2009-11-22T14:28:00.006Z

This weekend has been a quiet one of just doing Nice Things. There's been a daily trip to Mike & Nikki's to pick up Ad's stuff bit by bit which has been rather lovely cause I've missed spending half my life there. It's going to be so nice to have everyone nearby to go round & chat shit all night, & anyway, that's what winter's for right?

Yesterday we popped in to a couple of charity shops & I picked up a sheet to start modelling Ad's onesie which promises to be pretty fun! Today I made onion marmalade & dyed my hair (& ears & face & left wrist)

Back to work tomorrow. It's been a lovely week & I think I'm just about ready.

Puppy Pics!

2009-11-21T14:36:00.002Z

Finally, as promised, a few puppy pics. They're all so cute I don't know how i'll ever choose! Due to mobile Blogger being retarded you will have to view them here...

Puppies

Inside The Mind Of A Metal Artist

2009-11-20T16:49:00.004Z

This is a poster I have on my wall that I got free with Metal Hammer. I never realised until a few days ago how much I actually got for nothing, the level of detail in this thing is amazing! Let me elaborate...

First off take a look at the 2 zombie statue dudes either side of Giant Tutankhamun (which singlehandedly redefines the word awesome anyway..) On the left we have some bionic guy sporting a sexy laser gun, presumably for seeing off any upstart slaves or khaki shorted treasure hunters. The other guy is even more metal than that - he's somehow tamed the lightning to create a rather fetching hairstyle, & what's that in his hand? That's right, it's his own stomach, attached to his skeleton by a chain of guts, still containing the living remains of his last meal! If that's not metal I don't know what is. Oddly he seems to have an apple embedded n his chest. A biblical reference maybe? One can only postulate as to the ineffible reasons the artist may have for this.

Just below the Apple dude is the shadow of death. What with all the Zombie action & Eddie bursting so dramatically from the ground you may have thought 'How can this picture possibly contain any more awesomness? But i guess where Egyptian Eddie goes death just has to follow, arbitrary mixing of genres notwithstanding. And look he's got his own evil tree to live in as well. Bless.

Now as if all this wasn't enough there us one final detail which will reduce even the most cynical of observers to a smouldering fragment of Eddie worshipping slavery. Look at the 'R' of 'Iron'. What's that you see? That's right, it's a spaceship,that's what.

I heard on the radio once that children's drawings show a narrative rather than a moment in time, & I can't help but think that this masterpiece follows the same principle. All these elements must come together to mean something... Or maybe the artist just wrote a list of Awesome Things & then endevoured to include as many as possible in the finished product (an admirable method if working imho). Either way it just goes to show that the mental age of most metal fans (at least where art is concerned) is about 10.

Car Brain

2009-11-19T07:27:00.002Z

So yesterday we went to see this dude in Birmingham, he seemed like a nice guy, clearly well in to cars & shit. Round the back of his house he had this little shack set up with piles of craziness covered in grease everywhere. While he & Ad explored, & to the tune of much woah-ing & oh-my-god-ing, the man's father proudly told me that his daughter in law can take an engine apart & put it back together again.

Me: 'I know literally nothing about cars' (ok I don't know literally nothing. I can find the wheels.)

Him: 'Oh right.' Then, (with an obvious effort to dumb down for me) 'blah blah blah blah capri blah blah blah'.

Me: 'I don't know what a capri is.'

There was genuine sympathy in his eyes.

On the way back I thought it must be nice to be completely & utterly obsessed with just one thing. Life would never be a dissapointment.

Art & Hearse Shopping

2009-11-18T07:59:00.006Z

Me & Ad are staying at his mum's house in Buxton. It's an awesome house, full of arty objects, not like boring watercolour landscapes but crazy funky things like your art teacher made. It's really homey though & I like it here. This morning we all sat down to breakfast together, something I haven't done for years. Most people just eat in their living rooms now don't they.

Later today we're off to Birmingham so Ad can look at this hearse he found on eBay. If he buys it we're going to become full time goths & wear corpse paint to work everyday. That should get them back for making us wear uniforms... yes you read it right, I will soon be the only DSM in the whole world in uniform. I can feel some rather outrageous make-up coming on!

Upsettingly no puppy pictures have materialised yet, so Tron's identity remains a secret.

Pringles & Orange Juice

2009-11-17T12:13:00.003Z

Today i got to see Ad's new house for the first time & it's very lovely. It's rather less of a scramble to move in the my horriffic moving/tournament experience, so there's nothing here yet, we're just sitting on the floor on a red blanket I found eating pringles & drinking orange juice. The gas man gave us a rather funny look when he came in.

Tomorrow I get pictures of the puppies! I can't wait to see their cute little faces. There's a video too so i'll post it all up here. Can't wait!

After The Burial

2009-11-14T15:01:00.003Z

Last night me & Ad went to check out After The Burial at the academy. It was a 5 band night with Caliban & Emmure neither of which I know much about, & 2 other bands i'd never heard of.

After The Burial are a band I've salivated over for a couple of years now having read about them first on Metal Sucks. They're kind of Messhugah-ey but easier on the ear with lots of nice pretty harmonies & weirdo mathcore riffs sprinkled on top. I freaking love them & they did not dissapoint apart from not playing my favourite song which is quite feat considering they only have 1 album but there you go.

Rather oddly the crowd was mostly made up of screamo looking haircut kids which explains why no one's ever heard of them, but they don't sound that way to me. Anyway if you've never listened to them before you're practically committing a crime & you should bloody get yourself over to their MySpace page right freaking now!

Clutch & Kylesa

2009-11-03T08:20:00.005Z

Well last night we went to see Clutch. They were pretty good but it wasn't really a gig that included the casual Clutch fan. They only played a couple of songs I actually knew & although they did it well a lot of it merged in to one for me. Personally I would have taken 15m off their set & given it Kylesa because they fucking kicked ass!

The only thing I'd really heard of them before was a cover of Pink Floyd's 'Set The Controls For The Heart Of The Sun' which I really loved, & that's quite an achievement on their part cause anyone who knows me well will tell you that I don't have much tolerance for Beatles or Pink Floyd covers. In fact I normally flat out refuse to listen to them (why mess with perfection?) It was like Pink Floyd but slowed right down & really eerie sounding... awesome.

They did not disapoint. Their songs are epic, heavy, full of progressive sludge but with lot of up tempo rocking out too. One of their drummers (they have two) was headbanging so hard I genuinely thought he was going to nut the kit! And the 2 drummers aren't just an extravagance either. The whole sound is totally filled out by them in some kind of crazy drumming tidal wave.

I would most definitely go & see them again. Check them out here (That Pink Floyd song's at the bottom)

Spooky Tours May Induce Vomiting

2009-10-30T14:08:00.003Z

Last night we unleashed the public on Styal Mill for some ghost tour action. The whole thing had been generally polished since the dress, the whole evil twin story line came through nice & clear & the idea of plunging the audience in to darkness at the end caused much screaming. I went round twice & I actually jumped a few times even though I know exactly what happens now.

Two tours before the end we got news that some little boy had got rather too scared & thrown up in the mill. I went up with one of the national trust volunteers to clean up & the kid had made a good job of it cause the stuff was everywhere. We held up the next tour as long as we could but it was just in the next room & the poor guide was running out of lines to hold the there so we put a barrier round the vomit & hid round the corner while the tour came through. Problem was the NT guy clearly had no idea about atmosphere cause despite me tugging on his arm & removing his torch he just stayed there & was crouching in the middle of the floor with a stack of vomit soaked tissues in his hand when they finally burst in! The poor ghostly guide just ignored him but the audience looked pretty bemused!

Puppy!

2009-10-27T14:00:00.009Z

I've found a puppy! I am officially on the waiting list for one of a litter due any day now. This is their mummy...

I'm so excited. As soon as they're born we'll be off to pick out little Tron all ready to have the house chewed up...

Tonight is the dress rehearsal for Styal Mill, should be good if cold!

Vinegar Tom Opens!

2009-10-21T19:11:00.003+01:00

Tonight is the opening night of Vinegar Tom, a play by Caryl Churchill about witches & feminism. It's a good play with some good songs in & a smattering of obscene language. The best bit is obviously when me & Chris have to hang 2 witches using chain hoists while dressed like bank robbers in balaclavas. It's pretty awesome.

I am now officially bloody knackered having teched & run 2 shows in 2 weeks. Being freelance has given me lots of lovely tome off but now I'm contracted they're making full use of me. (contracted sounds like I'm a disease!) After this week I'm working on ghost tours at Styal mill before eventually getting time off woop!

Our Town Opens

2009-10-14T22:51:00.000+01:00

Tonight was opening night & it went great! We got a lot of laughs I wasn't expecting & no hideous mistakes happened so we all escaped unscathed. Mostly it was just nice not to be in a crappy studio full of water! Doing 4 show runs sucks slightly I never feel like we get a proper go at it, next week is Vinegar Tom & the week after is Styal Mill so we're chocca. Anyone who fancies a spooky Halloween tour just give me a shout, it's proper scary!

Bad Shepherds & The Dentist

2009-10-01T13:46:00.002+01:00

Yesterday me & Ad went to see Adrian Edmonson & The Bad Shepherds. I had never heard them before so we went in expecting something comedy based & in acutal fact they do old 70's songs mixed with irish folk music! Despite this it was awesome, they were all very proficiant musicians - especially the fiddler who didn't even hold it down with his chin he was just waving it about all over the place! Sadly I can't say the same for Ade Edmonson's daughter who was supporting, singing & playing guitar. She had a nice voice but was clearly only there because of her dad & her songs were boooooo-ring!

I would definitely recommend going to see them, especially if you're a bit of a folky, just dopn't expect anything more than the usual gig level of comedy & one story about Rik Mayall throwing up in the toilets ;)

Medieval Tournament!

2009-09-16T16:03:00.003+01:00

Well it was bloody brilliant basically! We arrived on the Friday for some intensive caparison making in Mum's front room & then camped at the site. When we woke up in the morning it was misty all across the field & the horses next to us were having a little tiff!

Both days followed the same basic outline although we started pretty late on the Saturday due to setting up & stuff.

The Tournament was opened by a procession on horseback with musicians all parading through the market place to the main arena...

Then there were the events: foot & horseback melee, club tournee, & jousting. Alan got to ref for the horseback club tournee & he had the biggest grin on his face the whole time!

Most things happened in the custom built arena apart from the jousting. Apparently the banner over one of the stands says in latin 'don't touch the breasts of virtuous ladies'!

I also got to see my caparisons in use finally! Although I don't have any pics from the day of the best one...

As well as all this there was a living history camp set up where people were just going about their medieval lives! I didn't get to see too much of it cause were were pretty busy but it was all pretty crazy...

The final thing each day was the battle re-enactment by the Medieval Siege Society. It was pretty cool & we got to see some awesome weaponry in action including a cannon & crossbows & stuff woop!

This was all rounded off by the beheading of the loser of the battle & a comedy head on a stick moment!

And last but not least, I bet you all want to see what I was wearing, so here you go...

You can't see my awesome medieval shoes in the picture but I assure you they are suitably pointy ;)

The whole day was just awesome. The sense of humour of the Medieval Siege Society really made the day, everyone looked really awesome & the crowd seemed to love it too. Roll on next year!

General News...

2009-09-14T16:47:00.003+01:00

I've just lived through what is quite probably the most tiring week of my life. On Monday Ru went off to help with the Tournament after packing up all his stuff. Tuesday after work I went to sign the contracts & pay the money carrying £900 in cash through Stockport on my own...erk! That went fine anyway & then between 7pm & 2.30am on Wednesday Me, Ad & Arun moved all mine & Ru's stuff to the new place which was fucking knackering! While all this was going on I was also frantically trying to finish the final caparison ina house which has zero floor space till we sort all the stuff out. Phew!

After moving in we discovered that all the downstairs electrics are out so we've had the man in to fix it & lived without a fridge or hot water for a few days as well as not being able to do any washing. Smelly!

We were supposed to go Tournamenting on Friday but ended up spending the entire day cleaning my old place, it still wasn't perfect when we left but hopefully passable enough for me to get the deposit back...

Ended up getting to Mum's on Friday evening & proceeding to stay up till 2.30 again making caparisons & it still wasn't finished!

The weekend was awesome but there'll be another post about that properly when the photos are sorted & stuff. Needless to say there were many pointy hats & men in shiny outfits & I got a dress with massive sleeves & Ad got a drinking horn so everyone's happy :)

Back to work today & finally managed to start on my own show! Looks like it's going to be an interesting one...

The only other interesting thing to say is that today me & Ad saw a man fend off a Christian preacher by quoting a passage from the Bible saying you should rely on evidence not blind faith. Awesome.

Scaffold!

2009-09-03T10:03:00.002+01:00

On Tuesday I finally gathered my guts & went & got the scaffold done. I went to the place below Studio 81 on Oldham street & the guy was awesome! I got lots of coke & free lollys :D

It's looking pretty good I think, it didn't hurt anywhere near as much as I'd been led to believe, but I guess that's often the way. Not even had any trouble with it & last night I slept on it too. Woop!

Here it is;

I Have Ironed My Leg

2009-08-28T17:05:00.003+01:00

The other day I was ironing on the floor & I cleverly leaned on the iron. It took me a couple of seconds to realise my leg felt a bit warm & I looked down & I had a nicely grilled patch right over Brian :(

I am happy to say it looks worse than it feels, but to warn anyone else who might be about to indulge in stupidity.... make sure this does not happen to you :)

Yummy.

New House

2009-08-25T16:42:00.003+01:00

Just a quick one to say me & Ru have found a new house! We're moving in at some point in the next couple of weeks so don't turn up at the old place you'll only be dissapointed ;)

This is what it looks like...

Waterfall Theatre...

2009-08-18T16:48:00.004+01:00

Yesterday we arrived at work to find the theatre totally flooded out. This is the least of it, I couldn't get a good photo of under the seating but it's a lake under there & you can properly paddle in the shed as well. We weren't even sure whether we should turn the lights on or not!

So doing anything in there is pretty much out. We did a bit of props sorting out (there were about 40 umbrellas in the cupboard!) & then spent the afternoon learning how to share calendars on the work email! All sorts of stuff is going down at Arden at the moment, but we've got jobs & stuff to do so I'm pretty happy with it really.

Bloodstock pics are up now, looks like I took about 1 10th of what everyone else did but there you go, less to clog up your hard drive with.

Summer Happenings

2009-08-17T13:50:00.003+01:00

I realise it's been like 2 months since I last wrote anything & I can only apologise for the worry & pain I have caused you all by my absence. I have been busy though - here is what has happened;

I finished the caparisons... here is a picture of a horse looking rather dashing in it:

Just a couple more to go & we'll be tournament ready. Me & Mum also made our own hose which are really attractive but there will be no photos for you :P

Me & Ad went to Paul's party in Shropshire which was awesome & there was much trampolining & donkey riding done by all. Ad also mowed Pauls field on the ride on mower & I got on for a ride but it wasn't really big enough for 2 people & that ended in much bum pain for me. It was so nice & relaxing hanging out in a field all weekend & we picked up a couple of yummy recipes too.

This weekend was bloodstock & the highlight was clearly BisonHammer playing which was sooo fucking cool I can't even begin to describe it. I was so excited I just kept screaming like a child. They played fucking awesomely & had the biggest crowd I saw in the unsigned tent all weekend. If they don't get to go to Wacken I will personally fall over backwards in mud. Apart from that Amon Amarth totally kicked ass as did Apocolyptica who I wasn't to sure about but were waaaaay better than last time I saw them. I guess playing some songs that aren't just Metallica was an improvement & this time they got out of their chairs too. Sweet!

Even though there was like 3 bands there that I'd ever heard it was a really awesome time, the atmosphere is so good there I guess cause it's so much smaller than most fesivals I've been to & I guess it'll stay that way as the Black Metal crowd is sadly never going to be as big as the Emo one. Photos up soon.

Finally, it's Ru's birthday party this Saturday. It's in Nikki & Mikes house so come on down please!

The tournament's the next thing coming up on the 11th September. For anyone who can make it it's going to be kickass, check it out here... www.englishtournamentsociety.co.uk

Download Awesomness

2009-06-17T11:31:00.004+01:00

Download was fucking immense! It was a bit of a weird one, starting off with an awesome Friday & then kind of tapering off, there wasn't much to see on the Sunday, but I had a bloody good time anyway.

Highlights of the weekend would have to be DevilDriver who fucking slayed & set the world record for the world's biggest circle pit! Faith No More were predictably amazing & Slipknot were pretty damn good too! They had this crazy extending rotating drum platform & lots of hitting each other with baseball bats & stuff.

I started off in the crowd for Marilyn Manson but I ended up going to the back cause it was a load of shit! He barely said a word & no one was cheering hardly at all. It was kind of eerie really. Then he just got led off stage halfway through the encore & never came back on. Bloody drug addicts...

Pretty much though it was just the usual Download awesomeness. The new site is pretty sick. Apart from being able to hear both stages if you're sitting in the middle, the layout works really well cause you can actually switch between stages & see some of the staggered bands which has never been possible before. I did spend nearly an hour looking for a water tap though, only to find I had walked past it like 10 times & completely missed it cause people were crowded around it & only half the taps were working. Rubbish!

I kind of missed having an awesome headliner on the Sunday. It kind of faded out a bit pathetically. The choice was Trivium or Def Leppard & I opted for Trivium. They were pretty good, but nothing compares to Maiden on the main stage. What happened?!!

Aaaaanyway... it was proper sunny all weekend, & there was a really good atmosphere. I had a bloody awesome time. Bonus!

Fucking Bloodstock!!!!

2009-06-08T18:22:00.003+01:00

Basically BisonHammer fucking kick your ass! All of you! They're playing at Bloodtock wooooooo!!!!! I can't even put in to words how much I know they deserve it & all you Boodstock goers better be there to see them play or I'll kick your asses too :D

I'm currently ASMing on The Meek at Arden. It's not going to badly, just one annoying-ass desk to find really & some other bits & bobs. I'm feeling really left out of rehearsals though, it's their last show & I'm missing all the fun :( At least I'll get to be down on the deck when it's all going on. I haven't been on stage for a looooong long time hehe. Having said that, I might be elbow deep in live video feeds so whether there'll be a sneaky green-haired cameo remains to be seen.

DOWNLOAD NEXT WEEKEND!!!! Our tickets still haven't arrived though, I'm properly biting my nails. If they don't get here soon I'm really really going to cry. I mean it.

Anyhoo, that's all for now. Anyone fancy seeing the show I don't really know what it's like but it promises to be very weird & contains at least 4 dead bodies so there you go. Opens next wednesday, call 0161 279 7357 for tickets :)

Woo BisonHammer!

2009-05-20T08:21:00.004+01:00

I've been buried deep in horse clothes still for the past few days, although I'm hitting walls all over the place till more fabric arrives. I've nearly finished Malory's stuff bar sewing it all together & I've made up the panels of Pembroke's which is red & blue & looks just like those blow up beds that everyone has.

Last night was the semi-final of the battle for Bloodstock at GC. It was a fucking sick night, I only saw the last 3 but they all slayed. Obviously BisonHammer fucking kicked ass as usual & Facebook tells me this morning that they won & they're through to the final. Woop! Last night was one of the best times I've seen them play, it was fucking awesome!

2 more days of being medieval & then I start back at Arden on Friday as ASM so I can have the Download weekend off. I'm so excited. I'm holding it back however as me & Ad still have to get 1 ticket & they're all sold out. It's making me so nervous! Just keep trawling through the address book I guess...

That's all the news for now. Hopefully I'll have some finished caparison pictures soon :D

Ermine stencilling....

2009-05-14T23:00:00.003+01:00

Tomorrow is the final day on this caparison. I spent all day stencilling ermine patterns & the border thing which I forget the name of. It came on pretty well except in a moment of being a total fucktard I stencilled the pattern upside down on 2 sections. Gah! One of them I managed to unpick it, turn it over & re-sew the chevron on the other way up. After re-touching the paint I don't think anyone would ever know. Unfortunately the other piece was an odd shape so we've put it to one side for the moment & I'll have to sort it out later. What a fool!

Tomorrow the lions go on. Exciting!

Here is a photographic journey through my day...

1. First I finished off the front part that goes over the horses neck. I actually made this yesterday. After much agonising over the size of a horses neck, me & Mum nipped over to the riding school with a tape measure where a friendly yocal let us measure her horse :D

2. I masked off the crimped edge (there really is an actual name for it but I can't bloody remember it) using masking tape shaped by stabbing it repeatedly with a gouge. Today I discovered that peeling masking tape off to reveal a pattern underneath is one of the most satisfying feelings ever!

3. Next I stencilled on the ermine pattern using acrylic paint & marking it out with pins. Saying that hardly does it justice, it took me fucking hours!

4. A days work! All that's left to do is put the lions on & sew the lot together. Woop!

Caparisons

2009-05-12T22:45:00.004+01:00

Today I have been making horse clothes. They're in the heraldry of Thomas Malary for Alan's horse. Eventually they'll be a front & back piece, divided in to quarters & half horizontally respectively. The white squares have a red chevron & some pattern based on squirral fur that I can't remember the name of. The yellow squares will have 3 crawling lions in black. They're not quite there yet though, here's the bum part in the making...

The Continuing Story of My First Doublet!

2009-05-12T08:45:00.003+01:00

Well the doublet's been coming along nicely. I fitted the first toile which looked like this...

As you can see I had to pin some more at the front & also the shoulders were too narrow. Alan also requested for the front waist seam to be higher & the whole thing shorter. This is because he's taking the part of Sir Thomas Malory for the tournament, who was a rather outrageous man & so certainly would have shown his 'privy parts' as they put it! Incidentally, only nobility were allowed by law to do this, so if you were a rakish peasant you just had to make do with personality & good looks to get the ladies...

The trouble I found with fitting Alan is that he changes shape by a good 5 or 6 inches depending on if it's before dinner of after! So in the end we compromised on more space over a tightly fitting waist seam.

The second toile incorporated all those changes & looked like this...

And it fits! Woooo! So last night I was sat in bed making up the final one. It all has to be hand sewn of course - no sewing machines in 1470, so I'll have the final pictures eventually. Anyway, yesterday Alan bought masses & masses of coloured canvas so this mornings job is horse caparisons. Exciting!

Making A Doublet...

2009-05-09T22:37:00.004+01:00

The past 2 days have been spent making a doublet for Alan. It's not finished yet, I'm just on the 2nd toile but it's already looking pretty good.

Someone asked me the other day how much they cost & seemed surprised at the amount. Thing is they take a bloody long time to make! This one should already have cost £140 in labour alone & I haven't even started on the actual thing yet! Luckily I'm nice & don't charge that much. If you don't believe me, here's how you make a doublet...

1. BLOCK: First of all you make a block of the person by pinning fabric tightly over their body, drawing over the lines & then cutting the pieces out. You lay them flat & draw round them to make a pattern of that persons body. Rather like a second skin I guess. When I did this on Alan he looked like a teddy bear about to have surgery! wish I'd taken a picture...

2. DRAFT: Trace off the block & draw on how the pattern pieces will fit against the persons measurements. Add a collar, re-shape the back to make a diagonal seam below the neck. Draft a sleeve pattern by measuring their arm.

3. TOILE: Make a tester using the drafted pattern. Make the sleeves in to puff sleeves, sew it all together, put it on them & pin it closed down the front. Here's a picture of my tester puff sleeves (first time I ever did them!)

Not bad eh? I made one massive one & it was too big so I made a smaller one & put them both on the toile to see. He looked rather like one of those crabs with one massive claw hehe.

After that it's the arduous process of pinning fabric on where needed & taking darts where needed & making alterations & toiles until it fits. Then you go for the real thing! So as you can see it's not quick.

I'm also down to make caparisons or barding if you like, which is the decorative stuff that horses wear like this:

I'm starting that on Monday. I've never made horse clothes before! Awesome!

Paul Hand

2009-05-06T21:44:00.004+01:00

Yesterday me & Mum went to Paul's house on the way to see the medieval clothes lady & stayed the night. For those of you who have never met Paul he is an awesome awesome person who lives in a mental house in Shropshire called The Hovil. The house looks like it shouldn't be standing although it's fine inside & boasts such features as a woodburner in the middle of a room 'so children could sit in the fireplace' as well as mice, baby doves, hamsters & chicks living inside & shitloads of animals milling around. We spent the night pretty much by the fire in his new mini amphitheatre (ok steps cut out of a slope with a fire pit at the bottom.) It's a fully relxaing place to be, out in the middle of nowhere & Paul offered to let me & anyone stay whenever so a trip is definitely in order! Here's the advert...

This morning we headed off for Wales to see Sarah Thursfield who wrote a really amazing book on medieval tailoring & we spent the day with her going over loads of stuff I wanted answers on, techniques & research & stuff. She's so enthusiastic & knowledgeable I osmosed loads & loads. So tomorrow I'm starting up again with my improved techniqe as well as making a few tweaks to Mum's kirtle to make it perfect. Woop!

Grammatical Rules of 'Like'

2009-04-10T09:26:00.004+01:00

This is an argument I've had with my Dad many times, so now, as proof that we don't actually use the word 'like' randomly distributed around our sentences, I present to you.... The Grammatical Rules Of 'Like' (Or the ones I could think of anyway..)

1. Approximation when the actual value is so close to your statement it makes no practical difference (e.g. there are going to be, like, 30 people there) or when the actual value is very specific & your guess is monumentally vague (e.g. he's going to, like, Europe somewhere). Also when you are having a genuine guess or making a suggestion (e.g. It probably costs like £50)

2. For emphasis before exaggeration (e.g. he was like 10" tall)

3. To replace 'for example', like, this sentence.

4. To replace 'said' when what follows is either an impression of someone or an exact account of their words (e.g. he was like... she was like....)

5. Any impression of anything (e.g. the explosion was like (insert explosion sounds & dancing around here)

6. Implying doubt, personal point of view or interpretation (e.g. 'what happened was....' = accurate description. 'like, what happened was....' = personal account.)

7. For emphasis before a statement (e.g. 'You're, like, an idiot aren't you?')

There, that's all the ones I can think of, based on my own speech obviously, I'm sure most of you have your own rules. If you think of any more let me know!

Parents & Step Parents

2009-03-27T20:37:00.003Z

I've been talking about my parents a lot recently & it's a particularly complicated subject for me because my parents are divorced & my Dad was married & my mum has a boyfriend (she says 'partner' which I think makes her sound gay...) who she lives with. What I've noticed after tripping over my words a shitload is that English has not yet developed a sufficient substitute for the word 'parents'. If anyone can come up with a good word to replace 'my [parent] and [step-parent/boyfriend]' I will be a very happy bunny indeed & I will promise to use it all the time and reference you.

Download Vs Sonisphere

2009-03-21T09:39:00.006Z

For the last 5 years Download's been the total highlight of my year (better than xmas anyone?) But the lineup's been getting progressively worse & worse, & every year I've defended it saying that there's always loads of other bands there who aren't even announced until just before. But is the vague hope there'll be a band you love there enough basis to buy a £170 ticket on? (yes it's gone up again!)

I'm also kind of sick of them only putting ancient metal bands on surrounded by a sea of emo. It's like they think they'll fool us in or something. It was cool when they had Black Sabbath, it was even kind of cool last year with Kiss & Judas Priest (although I didn't go see either of them). Let's be honest Guns & Roses were pretty shit but at least Sick Of It all were playing that year so we had somewhere else to go. But seriously...Whitesnake, Def Leppard & ZZ Top? Some people might still care, but I, unfortunately, do not. Novelty value maybe, but I'd rather see Lamb of God to be honest!

Me & Ru have been properly glued the the lineup announcements this year, actually counting down the seconds & it's been kind of confusing to be honest... at the moment the contest looks like this;

DOWNLOAD	SONISPHERE
Faith No More Slipknot Marilyn Manson Pendulum Prodigy Dream Theater Dragonforce Devildriver	Machine Head Lamb Of God Mastodon
£170 for 3 days	£170 for 2 days

Bearing in mind that Sonisphere is in August there are a lot more bands still to be announced & they seem to be going in a good direction with it so far... apart from the fact that Linkin Park are headlining & the lineup also includes Bullet For My Valentine & Avenged Sevenfold erk! But then last year Lostprophets headlined at Download (shocking!) & all those other bands have played there too, & on quite good years. Also, can I seriously pass up the chance to see Faith No More who I fucking love...? argh! It's so hard! Basically I just don't know. I expect I'll probably end up doing both. *sigh*

Throw Away Your Television...

2009-03-16T17:38:00.012Z

4 years ago I got rid of my telly becuase it was taking over my life. I can honestly say that I've not missed it for a single second since then. In fact, it changed my life in a number of ways. I'm not a different person, but I think I am more of one, I'm more involved in my own life, I do more things that I always meant to. In the past week I've suggested to 2 people that they get rid of their telly & both of them thought I was joking, it seems totally crazy to me that people believe their TVs are indispensable. I've got quite irate about it in the past and now I feel I'm ready to share with the world why I Fucking. Hate. TV.

I'm not anti Tv programmes. I watch stuff on Iplayer sometimes, I watch cartoons online & I agree that a lot of telly is entertaining or educational or whatever, but if you own a telly I can pretty much guarentee that a large part of what you watch is crap. You hate it, you whinge when it comes on and yet you watch it anyway! People somewhere are actually making money out of you voluntarily watching something you hate! Don't you feel used now? Aside from the crap programmes, thrown together, repeated to fuck & with a celebrity voice over to make you feel like you're not being conned, there's adverts.

Now this might be partly my own personal soapbox (well it is actually) but I totally resent being having my brain fried by ad campaigns designed to confuse & brainwash. I don't want to be forced in to consumerism in the guise of information. I don't want to want! They want your money & they'll make you miserable trying to get it. They assume you're an idiot, they appeal to your childishnes, your greed, jealousy & insecurity, they manipulate & use you & I'm fucking sick of it. I don't see why I should have to sit through that I particularly hate the way adverts have to be so much louder than the shows, they're like an annoying family member shouting at you when you subtly wander off while they're talking. You can't escape to the kitchen to make a cup of tea any more cause OI COME BACK I'M TRYING TO SELL YOU SOMETHING FUCKER!!!!

If you watch shows on the internet - no advertising. Bliss. If you watch them on the net you are also making an active decision. At the end the programme will stop & your brain will have to do something, you will have to make another decision, you might even make the break & do something other than watch a screen! A carefully scheduled and cheaper programme will not suddely pop up to sucker you in, a half naked woman will not wander on to the screen & brainwash you in to buying some crap, you will be free to make a decision. Choice is good for us. Across the board humans find decision making stressful, but basically, sometimes we have to. If you avoid decision making in your life then you're going to be pretty out of practice when you have to do it & in the long run it's going to cause you more stress. I'm not talking about choosing between one TV programme & another. I'm talking about getting out of your seat & taking an active part in your own life. Bloody well go out & challenge yourself! If you stretch your mind a bit it's not even just good practice, it's actually an end in itself. It's fun dammit!

Now the reason why people don't turn the volume down when the adverts come on is the same reason they watch the crap just cause it's on, & is essentially the reason I hate TV as much as I do. Laziness. Possibly the quality I find most offensive in any person. You just can't be assed to do anything about it. My god people what's wrong with you all! TV is slowly but surely dissolving our brains until all we can manage is to get in from work, plonk ourselves down & stick the telly on slowly growing fatter and stupider by the minute until we turn in to a country of obese retards blindly following whatever our celebrity masters read to us from the script. Frankly, it makes me feel sick. And there's another thing! Celebrities! Why do you listen to them? Why do you incessantly watch them trying to dance, sing, cook, drive, play sport, fucking anything?! YOU can do those things! You can do many other things too! They are not the voice of authority in your life, they do not know more than you, they are not cleverer, prettier, more interesting or more funny (& if they are bloody well change it!) You can have a more meaningful relationship with the town drunk becuase at least there's a dialogue. Don't listen to a voice you can't answer, even if you agree with it. If you want to be involved with the life of someone you don't know write a letter to your MP, they're fucking representing you!

The last reason I love having a TV free house is simply one of being sociable. Everyone knows that our eyes are drawn inextricably towards any screen in the vacinity, we just can't help it. We also just turn the TV without even thinking a lot of the time. If there's no TV in the house what do you do? That's right...you have a conversation! Since getting rid of mine I've realised how fucking rude it is to have people over & then completely ignore them! I mean why bother knowing people or seeing them if you can't even talk to them when you meet up? Now when I go to people's houses I feel mildly insulted if they have the telly on. Are you telling me that repeats of Top Gear are more interesting than me you bastards?! On top of that, when people see each other away from the telly the actually fucking talk about it! As if it wasn't enough to watch it for 8 hours a day, they actaully fucking talk about it!!! As someone who hasn't seen most of the programmes you're all on about, believe me, they sounds totally depressing & dull. I think I can live without them! I mean, Strictly Come Dancing?? Can't you go watch some actual dancers if you like it that much? Can't you go dancing? Big Brother? X Factor? Is that really how you want to spend your life?

What I'm trying to say, is that if you value yourself in any way, if you think your intelligence is a tool worth using, if you believe you have something more to contribute to the world than drooling in front of a screen or even if you want to be completely selfish about it & just be better read, a more talented artist, a more diverse person than the one standing next to you, I'm begging you to please, please

THROW AWAY YOUR TELEVISION!

Showcase. Awesome!

2009-03-06T12:18:00.002Z

Today was the penultimate run through of the Arden Actors' Showcase 2009! And I have to say it was bloody awesome. There's not actually been too much drama on this show, I feel like I've more time off than any show I've ever worked on simply becuase I've been able to leave at about 6 every day! After a lot of shuffling round I really feel like everyone has a part that completely suits them, sounds easy, really isn't, becuase as soon as you pair two people up that takes them out of the pool & so writes off a couple more script options. It's been an exercise in logistics definitely.

Yesterday we reworked the song a bit too & now it's sounding bloody brilliant, I just sit there grinning the whole way through. They think I'm getting them to smile but I actually can't help it!

One more run through & then on Tuesday we're off to London to show everyone off & spend a night gallavanting around town...NOT getting drunk & spoiling our voices (doesn't apply to me of course!). Then we pile in to the Royal Exchange on Friday which should be full of awesomeness too.

All in all I'm feeling really positive about this produciton & everyone's done really well I'm so proud of them!

Armour!

2009-03-02T15:33:00.006Z

This weekend I went down to Mum's for the first proper session of armour making. Mine is based on something Joan of Arc is wearing in this pic Alan found.

I spent 4 1/2 hours cutting out the first 2 pieces until Alan gave me these cutters which cut out he rest of it in about half an hour! My hand is like jelly now a day later, but worth it for these babies....

Next time I'll be sticking the whole bunch together. Awesome.

Lamb of Fucking God

2009-02-12T10:05:00.004Z

On Wednesday night I paracetamolled myself up & dragged myself off to Defenders of the Faith in Bristol Academy along with the gang. I say Defenders of the Faith, but as far as me & my boys were concerned it was a Lamb of God gig & that's all!

Me & Garthy arrived a bit late for Five Finger Death Punch & it wasn't till the end of the set that I realised it was actually Unearth we'd been watching! They were pretty good though & got me up & dancing straight away. I can't really describe their music cause to be honest although I enjoyed it, it was a bit bland really. They're not a band I'd heard before & I don't think I'll be checking them out in the future but still, good show, funny guy!

Then came the waiting. The long long 2 fucking hour wait for Lamb of God. Let me say 3 words about Dimmu Borgir. Not. A. Fan. They're ok I guess if you like wailing men in makeup & keyboards but to be honest they seem to be based a lot on show. I wasn't watching & therefore wasn't so impressed! I dunno, it's just black metal, i just don't like music that sounds like all the parts are mushed in to one. And why is it that BM singing sounds like it has all the bass taken out of it? I'm sure they're great, it's just not my thing.

So after like an hour of setting up (seriously, if took that long doing a scene change I'd be fired!) Lamb of God finally took to the stage and it was FUCKING IMMENSE! Everything you'd expect really! The crowd was really mental & there was no safe space for a little girl really so I just hung out where I always do at the front of the pit. It's better to be elbowed in the back than not be able to breathe! They played a sweet mix of stuff including Blacken The Cursed Sun, Redneck & Descending off Sacrament & 3 new ones, 2 I'd heard before & one other one. It was just totally brutal from start to finish. Not too much chat just down to business!

The next day I was in total all over pain. More pain I think than I have been since the end of 3 days of madness at Download 08. Fucking ey!

Nice Wood

2009-02-02T09:42:00.006Z

The other day when I was still ill I was just lying around in bed watching crappy daytime TV on iPlayer & I paused it to go to the loo. When I came back I noticed I had stopped it right here...

Made me laugh anyway...

Being A Girl

2009-01-29T08:58:00.007Z

I don't always understand other women very well. They seem really highly strung to me, they take strange perspectives & seem obsessed with pointless things that I associate with being a teenager. They often like crap music, stupid soppy films & have a strange chocolate addiction that is really beyond me. To generalise obviously.

So when I get hit by the full force of my hormones, as I guess most of us do occasionally, it really fucking shocks me. I'm not a PMT kind of girl, I'm not used to it dammit, but there is definitely something wrong with me in the last 2 days. I've gone all gay! And there's only one thing I can attribute it to, that bloody puppy cam. Now I am not a maternal person. I do not. like. babies. To be honest I strongly dislike children at least until you can have a conversation with them but those puppies are so cute I have to get a cushion & cuddle it just to cope with the overwhelming urge to mother!

Anyway, so that's the cause, here are the symptoms. Yesterday someone on the, er, puppy chat (please don't hate me!!!!) posted up this video which is kind of cute but sappy, and I cried! Erk! Yes real actual crying! I don't cry at anything, I mean, screen wise it really takes a lot. I think maybe the last time I cried at a film was Titanic when I was 16! (May be a lie). And this morning all I've listened to is the bloody Carpenters. Not only that, but the same song on repeat which is surely a sign of madness & impending doom. What's going on!

Ladies, if any of you recognise these symptoms please put me out of my misery. Why is it that small furry animals send me so gaga. Why are women just so fucking weird!

The Many Grins Of Manbeard...

2009-01-27T17:22:00.006Z

Today I would like to blog about something that is legendary among those who know Barney, yes, that's right, his photo face.

As long as you get his attention first & don't leave him hanging for too long, Barney is the absolute master of the authentic 'I'm really enjoying myself' grin. To be fair, he normally is enjoying himself, it would be a cruel photographer who snapped when a man was down, but most of us can't muster a genuine toothy grin unless we're

a. caught by surprise
b. quite pissed.

And even then it can all go hideously wrong if you lean in the wrong direction (or widen your eyes too much in my case - scary!)

My advice to you all, is go for 'The Barney'. Pick a grin that works & stick with it! And for those of you that are still flummoxed (or don't believe me!) take a look at this...

So there you go. And once you've cracked that, you can progress onwards & try The Barney with something actually in your mouth! Truly a master is among us.

Retro Insults

2009-01-23T20:55:00.005Z

Ages & ages ago me & Donna started making a list of retro insults. I've just found the list hiding in the depths of my computer & it comes to a grand total of 5. Not very impressive I guess but they are quite good ones, & if you can think of anything better then tell me & we'll make one big list together & use them on each other whenever possible. In fact, we can use them on other people & reinvent the world's perspective of modern offensive slang. Maybe.

Pillock: I quite like this one, not too offensive & kind of country bumpkin. It's the kind of thing they could get away with farmers saying on The Archers. In fact, it's almost comedy, I can just picture it being said by an 80's bobby whilst clipping his assistant playfully over the ear.

Wazzock: This one feels like more of a young persons thing, & inoffensive enough to be on kids TV, like on The Biz or something. I'm sure there was some kids show in the early 90's with a Mr Wazzock - anyone remember that? Still pretty light hearted though, it applies to mildly stupid people who've just got off the end of the seesaw while you were still in the air or turned round & hit you with the end of their ladder just as you stood up. Think Chuckle Brothers!

Gobshite: One for the Irish. It's a bit more cruel than the other two. I'm pretty sure my catholic stepmum would never have let us say it, I presume because of the similarity to the word shit. Somehow though, that magic 'e' on the end means it's kind of endearing. Awww bless those crazy Irish!

Ninny: My most outstanding memory of this one is that it used to be on a tape of stories I had when I was a kid. Obviously not nearly insulting enough!

Gaylord: Totally. Fucking. Classic. That's exactly the kind of weirdass thing that kids say. Is it supposed to be lord of the gays or something? I had a maths teacher in secondary school called Mr Lord who used to get called gaylord all the time to his face. Gutting I'm sure.

Apart from that all I can think of are wanking related ones: wankshaft, wank biscuit, you get the picture. And spaz & flid, they went around a lot but I'm not convinced I really knew what they meant at the time & I'm way to nice to use them now.

Any more for any more?

Women Singers

2009-01-20T00:08:00.003Z

Any of you who've ever been around while Arch Enemy are playing will probably have heard quite extensively my views on women singers. It's not restricted to metal mind you, I'm pretty much over all women singers apart from a select few that either sing low enough or with enough crazy style for me to like em. Well I've just got back from seeing some female fronted band called Pariah & to be honest it was all a bit meh. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for equal metal rights for women & I'm more than happy to jump on in to a pit with a bunch of guys or see girls playing instruments & shit, it's just please ladies, don't get up front.

Part of the thing is that singing in a metal band is such a manly thing to do. I don't think it's because of convention or design, it's through evolution, the style grew out of the singers. So when a girl get up & does it, it really is like she's just imitating some bloke & so she's always playing catch up. If it was a big fat dyke with a mohawk & cammo shorts I think I'd believe it more cause those girls pretty much have balls anyway so what's the difference!

This woman was dressed up all nice & stuff, & to me that's just not what it's all about. There were lesbians ballroom dancing in the middle & a row of girls down the front headbanging & you have to ask yourself why they only chose to get out of their seats for that band & not the other two that came before. It makes me sad to think that the other two bands put on a sick show & yet loads of the audience chose not to judge them on the music but on the fact that they wanted to hang around their own. Out of loyalty? I don't really know!

Maybe you could say that if I hadn't seen it was a woman then I'd have enjoyed the gig more, & maybe you'd be right & I'm just a stroppy madam. But unfortunately for her, watching a bunch of blokes shred it up on stage if half the battle in my opinion. I can't think of another situation in which I'd really feel comfortable seeing a woman act just like a man. I like my women to be women & my men to be men ;). I'm not majorly in to clean vocals anyway, but when a girl goes for it in some silly high voice, well, all I can think is fucking Aguilera or something. Not good.

And aside from all that musical shit, women are not good front people. For the same reason (whatever it is) that 99% of women do not make good stand ups, they mostly can't cut it talking to the crowd. They make great comedy actors & also alright guitarists (although I can't think of any great ones off the top of my head) but just don't let em go it alone!

Wow that was a bit of a rant soz about that! But you know I'm right. I dare you to contest anything I've said with something harder than opinion.

Some Bastard's Heard Wrath & I Haven't....

2009-01-19T08:22:00.004Z

But at least it was some bastard with a keyboard...

Wrath Review

So now all we have to do is sit & wait EEEP!!! I normally respect the views of MetalSucks, they have fairly good taste & what they're saying promises Wrath to be very very good indeed.

ARGH WHEN WHEN WHEEEEEEN!!!!! I don't think I can sit on this much longer!

Bisonhammer Rule Your Ass!

2009-01-16T08:41:00.004Z

So those of you who have noticed my Facebook status may be wondering why I have taken to being the slave of a large nomadic grazing animal, or some of you (Laura!) probably just think I'm mad, but I not I tell you! Last night I made it to my second ever Bisonhammer gig in Oldham & they totally slayed!

It was a smallish pub & there were 2 bands on before, something about Pig Skinner or something & I can't remember the name of the first band, but basically they didn't touch the 'hammer! The set was totally br00tal, the set list was comedically decorated with pictures 'for if you don't like reading' and the band came down & mixed with us mortals a number of times, something which normally would have given me a little star struck moment except for the fact that Arun gave me a lift there ;)

All joking aside, this band really do rule your ass. The music doesn't let up for a second, Gary has an awesome voice, the whole shebang is really tight & sounds great & there's some sick crazy middle bits & proper breakdowns. I didn't stop head banging the whole time & though there wasn't really enough room to throw my arms around I think I managed to injure at least two people. Job done.

Next gig is 31st Jan in Leeds. I expect to see you there people!

Uber Guitar Heroes!

2009-01-15T16:29:00.003Z

Yesterday a bunch of us from work played super-mega-uber guitar heroes on the massive projection screen in the theatre all hooked up to the speakers & stuff. I have to say it's definitely the only way to play guitar heroes, it was bloody amazing! We still haven't unlocked the Tool songs though :(

Here is the evidence...